Saviour

Darkness Part 35

There was darkness all around nothing felt real this couldn't be death could it? There was a sound like white noise and heavy static it surrounded me I slowly became aware of other noises around me, at first I thought I was back in the coffee shop I could hear machines wiring and buzzing, It was only when I tried to move or open my eyes I realised I couldn't. I tried to scream for help but nothing was happening I felt trapped just me and the darkness and the harsh static in my ears.

It was obvious I was in a hospital and then it dawned on me I had survived but how? Who found me? I wouldn't of been brought to a hospital unless it was serious so what was the damage? And even yet would I ever wake from this mind prison I felt myself inhabiting.

As I lay time became obsolete I couldn't tell if It was day or night and frankly I didn't care sometimes I'd just let the darkness consume me and I'd just slip away into nothingness but I would always wake up eventually I could hear the Doctors and Nurses bustling around me whispering in hushed voices.

A door to my right opened and a figure entered the room taking a seat beside me the soft footsteps and gentle sniffles told me it was Fallon but she didn't speak to me I could hear her quiet sobs as she petted my curls for a while until a nurse came by to tell her visiting was over Fallon kissed me softly on the head, "Oh Sparrow" her voice was an exhausted whisper "Why couldn't you tell anyone you were unhappy, you could of talked to us. I know I told you that you lead a full life but I didn't mean it was time to end it" I sat listening to her the static was rising in my ears again my own sister actually believed I tried to kill myself. I wanted to throw my arms around her and tell her it was all an accident and how sorry I was for putting her through this so soon after Mammy. I tried so hard to move even just a finger but the static was getting louder pulling me into the black abyss of my mind once more.

I later woke to the sweet nurse who smelled of peppermints and soap she was a kindly soul with an elderly croaky voice I had become used to her presence over the unknown amount of time I had been here I learned her name from the other doctors that it was Nurse Grace. Grace liked to hum Disney songs while bathing me. As she cleaned my face I felt the warm water on my head and yearned to see my beach again but a scared feeling spread through my body as I thought of the water filling my nose and mouth and the pain in my head before the darkness came. What if I became too afraid to go back in the water? What if I never even saw it again? I felt so alone with just my thoughts. I was a caged little bird.

Grace sat with me a while it was the first time anyone had spoken to me directly she chatted to herself and to me as she fussed around me it was somewhat soothing, "you must be little Sparrow I knew your mother very well I looked after her when she became ill. She would talk about her little bird making it big in New York" A pain in my chest arose at the thought of my Mama "I don't know if you can hear me little bird you must be so frightened but you need to fight this dear, look for a light in the darkness and focus on it something that gives you spirit and hope it will keep you with us little one" she stood up I could hear her dusting down her uniform before she tiptoed out of the room quite frankly I didn't see the point in her being quiet it's not like I was going to wake up anytime soon if at all.

After she had left I began looking for the light whether it was true or not what Grace had said I was determined to get back to my family she said to look for the things that make me happy and give me my spirit, I thought of my home and my beautiful Sheephaven I thought of my mother and all the photographs she had taken and left behind, I thought of my beautiful sister with the voice of an angel who basically raised me most of my life, when I was a child and Mama was having one of her bad nights Fallon would crawl into my bed and hold me close tucking my head under the covers so I couldn't hear Willows swearing she would hold me close and tell me one day I'd become a beautiful bird and fly away free. I thought of my brother such a beautiful gentle soul he taught me how to swim and how to look at nature in all its beauty it made me happy to think of the twins but there was no sign of this light Grace had spoken of.