My Love Affair With Damon - A Vampire Diaries Fan Fiction

Chapter Twelve - My Revelation

I spent the remainder of the afternoon wondering the forest. The air was damp and cool, and felt strangely comforting. It mirrored typical, English weather, and I thoroughly enjoyed every second of it. My MP3 player was still in my pocket, so I pulled it out and put in my headphones. "Neutron Star Collision" by Muse began playing. My eyes started to burn, and tears began pouring down my cheeks. My ex-boyfriend and best friend, Lewis Rowan, had travelled here for my sixteenth birthday, and had sung that song at my party. I began to miss him all over again. I tugged the earphones from my ears and lobbed the MP3 at a tree. Sadly, it didn't smash. Fuck it.

And, I know that reminiscing on the past will never help solve my problems. I'm with Damon now. Or, at least, I think I am. He hasn't made it very clear. One minute he's fucking me, and the next he's moping over Elena's obvious hatred for him. I wish the dick would just make up his fucking mind already! (Get it?)

But, then again, he can do what he wants. He can go and fuck himself for all I care (although, the mental image of him actually doing that is quite disgusting). Why am I even "with" him?

He came on to me at the Grill, took me back to his humble home, shagged me, bit me, compelled me (though he has never admitted it, I remember everything he's done to me), threatened me, got me pissed (on more than one occasion), and then turned me into a freakin' vampire. In all fairness, I did actually ask to be turned, but the alcohol was encouraging me to do so. I am never drinking whiskey again.

Pfft. Sod that. Within one week, I'll have gotten hammered three or four times.

I jumped up onto my feet and began wondering aimlessly, desperate to come up with something. Some way to get out of this mess. But, what do you do when the guy you think is your boyfriend is obsessed with his brother's girlfriend, who happens to look like his  and his brother's ex-girlfriend? Damn, this is all so fucking confusing. Damon should just worry over someone who actually cares about him, instead of almost crying over someone who's just bitchy towards him. What is Elena's problem with Damon? What has he ever done to her?

As I continued to ask myself questions that I know I will never get answers to, I realised that Damon hadn't actually told me anything. I mean, I know we've only known each other for about a week, but that's still enough time for him to tell me something about himself - other than his name - instead of leaving me to find out these things for myself (or from his jackass ex-girlfriend who's obviously a whore - you just need to look at the way she dresses). Anyway, Damon seemed so chilled out at first, but this afternoon he just seemed so uptight. He almost seemed put out.

When he was talking about Elena, it was blatantly obvious that he feels something for her. I reckon even a blind person would be able to see that. And, I know what it's like to be in love with someone else's other half - believe me, I've been there. But he needs to get over it. Elena obviously doesn't give a shit.

I give a shit about Damon.

I like Damon.

I...I think that love Damon.

Despite everything he's put me through in such a small amount of time, I love him. Ha. I really do love him. More than I loved Lewis, back when I was a kid. More than I loved Lewis last year, when he payed for his own flight from the New Forest to Virginia. I love Damon more than anyone I've ever loved.

I don't know why. What reason do I have to explain why I love him? He's a self-centered bastard. He manipulated me. He fed from me. More than twice. And, in my books, that's not acceptable. He can give whatever pathetic excuses he likes, but I just will not listen. I know for a fact that he isn't controlled by an unquenchable thirst, because, in my very few days as a vampire, I've felt nothing of the kind.