Fools Gold || ☆

»» Ruin

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»» forgive because they deserve to be forgiven not because you simply want them back in your life ««

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"Louis?" Zayn's voice was loud and clear and Louis heard his footsteps as they got closer.

"Fuck! Hide!" Louis whispered to Harry.

"ZAYN DONT COME IN HERE IM NOT WEARING CLOTHES," Louis tried to sound frantic, he grabbed Harry and pushed him off to the couch.

"I'm not hiding there like a bloody child Louis!" Harry reprimanded.

"It's nothing I haven't already seen love," Zayn laughed warmheartedly.

Louis froze, he avoided eye contact with Harry who's eyebrow rose in question. "What does he mean?"

"Now's not the time for a question, go up to my room! Now! I'll go and talk to him in the kitchen," Louis pushed Harry to the stairs. Harry glared at him, though as far as Louis knew Harry hadn't gotten Zayn's double meaning to his sentence.

Louis walked into the kitchen to see Zayn sitting at the table with his phone out. "Hi," Louis said breathlessly. He could only hope that Harry listened to him and went into his room.

"Hey, how was your day?" Zayn asked, he set the phone down and walked over to Louis.

"It was... interesting how was work?" Louis asked, he moved away from Zayn's grazing fingertips and made his way slowly to the living room. Harold better have listened, was all Louis could think as he walked in. He finally let out a breath of ease when he stepped inside and saw that Harry was not there.

"It was great actually some of the other works threw me a party in congratulations for having been chosen!" Zayn stated eagerly.

"YAY! I think I'm going to head off to bed. I'm really tired, you can order pizza if you want," Louis said, anxious to get back upstairs and talk to Harry.

"Didn't you sleep the whole day?" Zayn teased.

"And your point is? I'm tired okay," Louis snapped. Zayn's face fell and Louis immediately felt bad. "I'm sorry, I really am just tired okay Zayn," Louis said more softly.

"Is this because of what happened last night? Louis-"

"No, it's not. Look Zayn," and Louis hesitated. "Last night wasn't supposed to happen, I'm sorry," his voice trailed off and he couldn't look up to meet Zayn's eyes. He didn't want to see the hurt that was surely to be in there. "It was just my teenage I dunno whatever taking over, you're my best friend and I don't want anything to ever ruin that," Louis paused. "You'll always be my best friend, but that's all you'll ever be."

Zayn didn't say anything. Louis opened his mouth to speak once more but Zayn turned around and walked out of the living room, Louis heard the front door slam shut a moment after. Louis went after him, he opened the door letting it hit the outside wall. "Where are you going?" Louis shouted as he saw Zayn walk faster into his car. Zayn turned around, he started shaking his head.

"I need to go Louis, I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore," Zayn shouted back, his voice trembling.

Louis stopped short and then he was running to Zayn, he grabbed onto his hand. "What do you mean you're going, when are you coming back?" Zayn ignored him and pulled his hand back, he looked past Louis and said nothing. "Zayn? Fucking answer me! Where are you going?"

"I need to go Louis. I can't do this anymore," Zayn whispered and their eyes met. Louis tried to tear his eyes away from Zayn's, his gaze was too much, it held too much pain and Louis didn't know if he could take it.

"Do what?" Louis asked.

"Us," Zayn sighed out.

"Us? Our friendship?"

"Yeah. I need to leave,"

'' What happened to never leaving me?" Louis said anger now coursing through him.

"If there's something I've learned is; sometimes you gotta put your needs before others, I need to do this Louis. I'll come back, I promise,"

"NO FUCK YOU! YOU PROMISED YOU'D NEVER LEAVE TOO," Louis shouted.

"I CAN"T TAKE THIS ANYMORE LOUIS! DO YOU NOT HOW MUCH MY HEART BREAKS EVERY DAY KNOWING YOU CAN'T AND WILL NEVER BE MINE? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH MY HEART HAS BEEN BREAKING THESE PAST 4 YEARS?," Zayn shouted. "Every. Fucking. Day. for the past four years I have put your needs before mine. I stayed even when Harry was just using you like a toy, I helped you through that because he made you happy, the happiest I had ever seen you, even though it was temporary, you were still so happy and that is all I could ever wish for, even though I always wished it was me who made you that happy," Zayn paused, and he ignored the tears that were trying to cascade down. "When he broke your heart, who was there? I was. But then you turned to Matthew, some guy you had just gotten to know and I saw the change in you almost immediate and again I was hurt to see that you were getting better without my help. Every day I put you before me and what do I get? Nothing. When is it my turn to be happy Louis? When?"

"We're best friends Zayn. You are my best friend, you're my-"

"Don't say brother, brothers dont fall in love with their brothers,"

Louis' mouth fall. "You're in love with me?" he breathed out, he had heard Zayn say but this time it was different, it just was.

Zayn laughed, the sound resonating in the otherwise silence as it was emotionless and harsh. "Yeah but, I'm done, I need to go, I need to do this Louis," Zayn stayed silent for a couple of seconds. "I'm sorry I couldn't be enough." and Louis didnt stop him, he didnt say anything not when Zayn got in the car, and drove away not one more word spoken. Louis was in a daze when he went back inside.

He walked upstairs and didn't even notice Harry who was sitting at the edge of his bed. "Lou?" Harry whispered.

Louis didn't say anything, he walked over to his window and saw the last disappearing rays of the sun fall behind endless trees.  "I really messed up," Louis muttered. "I- I lost my best friend,"

"Oh babe," Harry muttered, he tried to wrap his arms around Louis.

"I just lost my best friend," Louis stated again in disbelief. "Fuck him, he promised he'd never leave me." Louis quieted down. his eyes flew towards Harry, "I guess promises don't mean shit to anyone,"

"Louis," Harry tried again but Louis shook his head.

"Its your fault. God, what did you do to me. you ruined me. I let you ruin me, you ruined everything," Louis' voice shook.

Harry crossed his arms in front of him. "I didn't mean to. I'm sorry. I f.cked up hugely I know, please Louis, please don't push me away again,"

"Me push you away?" Louis whispered incredulously.  "You, you pushed me away every single day. Why did you have to lie? You should have just said you were never going to try in the first place. Then I'd never have hoped, I would never have that small thought in the back of my head thinking maybe this time, maybe today. Maybe..." Louis' voice trailed off. "But maybe never became reality," he smiled brokenly his eyes distant as they looked into a forgotten past.

Harry shook his head, and he wrapped his arms around Louis. "I lost my best friend. I lost what mattered to me,"

"You're wrong," Harry murmured. "You haven't lost me. you could never lose me," Harry looked at Louis with a soft gaze.  He tried to kiss Louis on the cheek, but Louis held his hand up.

Louis turned around and looked Harry in the eye. "Daddy," Louis breathed out sickengly sweet, "I can't lose something that was never truly mine in the first place."

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Sorry zouis shippers:( . Will Zayn come back?

Do you agree with Zayn's words?