Obsessed [h.s. au]

[29] Half A Heart

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follow the original 'Obsessed' playlist on spotify and listen to every song for each chapter or all, in order to get in the mood and into the story;

Name of the list: Obsessed fanfiction [h.s. au]

Username: stephanie.vl

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  And being here without you
Is like I'm waking up to
Only half a blue sky
Kind of there but not quite
I'm walking round with just one shoe
I'm half a heart without you
I'm half a man at best
With half an arrow in my chest
I miss everything we do
I'm half a heart without you

                                                           One Direction - Half A Heart  

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"What the hell was that?" Her squeaky voice pieces my ears and I forcefully turn around to look at her.

"Nothing."

"Bulls.hit." She scoffs. "Tell me."

"It was bloody nothing." I nearly scream in the middle of the road. My hand dives in my pocket to find my car keys. My state though doesn't even let me do the simplest thing without getting frustrated and screwing up.

"I'm your girlfriend. I need to know why she stormed out like that? And who is this little b.itch by the way?" She raises her hands in the air and I nearly lose it. I squeeze my palms in fists and contain my anger.

"You." I point a finger at her, "don't get to talk for her like that. Got it?" My voice is all but not less threatening. I even impress myself. She squirms in front of me like a fish out of the water. "And you're not my girlfriend. We got pissed. We had fun once or twice but that's it."

Her eyes become dark. Her jaw clenches. She looks at me with hatred. "That's it? Oh I get it." She laughs wickedly, "it had to do with her. You didn't have her for whatever reason and I was just a f.uck. No! I get." She shakes her head. "So what's up with her?" The rage hasn't left from within her. The bitterness dripping from her tongue makes me understand that's she's everything but friendly.

"It's complicated. Don't push it, Eleonora."

"Get your bloody complicated life away from me then." Her body increases the distance with taking some steps back. 'Fu.ck you.' She mouths to me and disappears. My head hurts. My eyes water as my fist collides with the hood of my beaten-up, rusty, old car. I get in and start the engine. The radio is way too loud. At least it doesn't let me think. I turn it on louder as Free Fallin' from John Mayer, plays in the background.

'Free Falling' now I'm
Free Fallin' now I'm
Free Fallin'
I wanna glide down, over Mulholland,
Wanna write her name in the sky...'

The lyrics remind me of her. I know I broke her heart and I don't know if she'll ever forgive me. I don't even know if I can forgive myself. I remember singing this song with her when we were walking to school one of those, rare sunny days. This song was always in the playlist of her most favourites. I hope it still is. I hope she listens to it an thinks of me. 

I turn off the engine and get out of that excuse of a car. My feet shuffle on the concrete, scraping away the mud under my shoes. I enter the suffocating pub, inhaling the smoke and mold staining the greasy walls. A skinny looking guy with a black tee shirt and baggy jeans sits on a stool in the middle of a makeshift wooden stage, strumming the cords of his guitar, playing an ever sad song. It fits perfectly my mood. I shake my head and bitterly  smile to my luck. I treat myself a beer an look intensely at the bottom of the bottle as if all the solutions to problems will get solved.