Yeah Boy And Doll Face

Confusing and Consuming

I knew this would happen. He came back to tell me, she was back in town.

I wasn't sure if I was to be mad or jealous. But I think those are in the same bracket. Anyway.

That was about two days ago, when Andy told me about her being back in town. But I think he should do what he wants. He's a grown man.

I trusted him and I just believed that nothing bad would happen. And even if something did happen, I couldn't be 100% pissed at him. To be honest I cheated on him with Vic and Tony.

But I'm changed. I changed my ways to be with Andy and he knows that, so I shouldn't get so worked up.

Things were going to be good.
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Today was the day Andy was going to hang out with Juliet. But I was still nervous yet I became more careless about the situation. I shouldn't get so worked up about this.

I was currently in my office filing papers and sending emails. Another busy day at the office.

Though lately, I feel like I'm being pushed away from the people who mean most to me. I haven't seen my mom, I haven't spoken with Jackson nor came in contact with him  Piece the Veil never come around the office anymore, Jamison doesn't say much to me anymore. I don't know if it's just me or if I just actually lonely.

I don't like being lonely. I don't even like the word. And it seems as days go by this feeling continues to grow, making me hate the silence that envelopes me, dragging me into a deep, dark abyss. Drowning me in my past and feelings of guilt, love, greed and lust. But for the most part my sins.

I couldn't help but feel confusion swarm in the depths of my personal hell. In my life

I feel used, played, lied to, hated. I feel as I don't belong here anymore. I'm the black sheep and everyone else are beautiful ivory white, loved sheeps that are wanted and needed by everyone.

I feel worthless and pathetic. Two things I haven't felt in years. I pulled out a notebook, that was filled with my lyrics. I would always write when I'd get so. . . Depressed. But why was I depressed? I felt wet droplets fall onto my hand. I wiped it on my shirt and wiped my face, only to bet with more wet, salty warm substance, known as tears. Why was I crying? I ignored these emotions and feelings, and began to write.

These thought are consuming. Heartbreak looming, pulling me down. I know I'm losing, my own mind. I can't find, the love anymore. I could die, from this tie, to my life. What am I meant to be? Is this the place just for me? Where am I meant to be? This place is. . . Not meant for me.
You're staring me down, eyes all out. The hits still hurt, knocking me out. On the ground, feeling worthless. It's just life, with no purpose.

I looked up from the paper. Wiping the continuous tears that spilled from my eyes.

It's true. I'm unhappy and depressed.

But why?
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Hello people. Okay I just want to say, this chapter is kinda sad, but it's meant to open the door for the last 15 Chapters left.
15 Chapters?! Yeah I know. Any way thanks for reading and voting.
See Ya later turtles🐢🐢🐢