Yeah Boy And Doll Face

Sick

I turned to Jackson and sat up, pulling the comforter over my body.

"Jackson, w-we shouldn't h-have done that." I whispered.

"Don't start this shit again. Bianca I just confessed my love to you and made love to you and you enjoyed every minute of it. Now you're regretting it."

"I don't feel comfortable with it."

"Now you don't! You should have said that before I touching you! You know what I'm sick and tired of this."

With that said Jackson got out of bed and got dressed and pulled a suit case from under his bed and started packing up.

"J-Jackson? What are you doing?"

"I'm leaving, what does it fucking look like." He growled.

"W-why?"

"Because! I love you! You don't love me! We had sex, we made love! And if these feelings are unrequited, then I can't stand to look at your face any longer. I'll be leaving and coming back to get the rest of my things tomorrow."

"Jacky? C-can't we t-talk about this?"

"No more talking. 'Cause you can't seem to understand. This is goodbye. I have refused to be miserable for the rest of my life wanting something I can't have. You'll get over me leaving soon. You're not too emotional."

"Jackson, p-please don't leave me." I begged. Tears poring out of my eyes.

"There's nothing left you can say for me to stay and if you were really a good best friend then you'd set me free so I can change and be happy."

And with that said, probably his last words he left. He left me alone and crying.

I'm such a screw up.

I pulled my clothes on and ran to my room and started to tear and throw everything thing. I screamed, cried, yelled, pulled my hair, I even slapped myself on the side of my head as if trying to knock loose screws in.

You could say I was having a temper tantrum.

I traveled throughout the whole house destroying everything in my path.

He was right. When I don't get what I want, I act crazy. But I wanted my life back. None of this would've happen if my mom didn't force me to move here to America.

Now I'm blaming my mom.

Just take the blame, Bianca. This is all your fault. You made yourself this way.

A voice said in the back of my head.

And now you're all alone. Your mom never calls, 'Cause she hates you. Jackson doesn't want you, Andy cheated on you, Tony left without a word, Mike doesn't anything to do with a slut, and Vic thinks you're a waste of space. Even Jaime doesn't have time for you.

"NO! STOP! STOP! THAT'S NOT TRUE! LEAVE ME ALONE! YOURE NOT REAL!" I screeched, to the top of my lungs.

Five minutes pass and I can't even get through the night knowing I'm alone and knowing no-one loves me.

I've gone mad. Now I'm listening to the voice in my head.
-

-
(3 Months Later)

I was on my couch looking at a black screen. What was I doing with my life?

I think there's something physically and mentally wrong with me.

Lately I have been hearing voices and I've been answering to them. And not too long ago, about three days, I had a seizure, an asthma attack, an anxiety attack and there was no-one here to help. I had to let everything sail out by itself.

I'm depressed and I've gained a lot of weight. My head has a splitting headache that won't go away. I've been throwing up for the pass two months and I think it's because I haven't so the food that left in my stomach is completely coming out of me.

Like right now, I'm puking in the toilet, pulling my own hair out of my way.

I had a doctor appointment today, so I was getting ready to go there so I could hurry and get back.

I'm scared. What will they tell me.
-

-
"Good morning Bianca." Dr. Williams said, politely.

"Good morning."

"So what's been going on with you?"

"Well for the pass two to three months I've been having horrible headaches non stop. I've gained weight and been vomiting all the time. I've had an asthma attack, and a seizure the same day."

"Dear God. Have been to the hospital? Actually how do you feel right now?"

"Like complete and utter crap."

"Well to make sure you're healthy and strong, we're going to run a few test on you."

"When will I get the test results?"

"Tomorrow through the mail."

"Okay."

"Now, should we proceed?"

I nodded my head and filled the doctor to get some test done. I was nervous and scared. What if something is wrong with me?

Please let me be okay.