More Than This

Chestful of Heartaches

Distraction, that is what I need now. While I know I should have been happy, ecstatic even, with what Josh has told me, I am now just more confused. I've waited 5 long years for that confession and yet it is not giving me the expected reaction I want. Part of me sees this as an escape plan for Josh. Why now? Why did he had to wait for him to empregnate someone before telling me these things? It just doesn't feel right.

Josh and I agreed that we will think things over before jumping into anything. I don't want to get caught in more drama.  God, I thought, I did ask for some fire in my life, but please, I didn't mean for me to be burned at the stake!

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I dressed up in black skinnies, black sleeveless under a white buttoned down shirt and my fave Docs. I pulled my hair in a messy bun.  I plan to drive with the windows down. I usually do this whenever I feel sleepy while driving, but for now, I need the LA wind to slap my face to distract me from all the drama that ensued. I grabbed my black denim jacket and my trusty satchel. I'm doing some retail therapy for my sanity.

Rodeo Drive is the go to place. Where people converge and buy stuff to outdo each other. For now, I will be one of them.

---

Two hours and seven shopping bags later, I feel so tired already. I felt like I binged shopped! My mental self is disappointed. But heck, I don't regret anything. Well maybe just a little, or a lot! If Allen sees this, I will not hear the end of it.

I see a patisserie and decided to do a pit stop before driving back. I ordered a slice of lemon passion fruit cake and sweet tea. I sit by the window where I can see people passby.

I am staring far and away while my mind is consumed by thoughts of Harry and Josh. Josh is an ass for doing what he has done. Why does Hannah have to be pregnant? Why did he wait that long? If he truly loved me like he said, he would have told me earlier! We've been seeing each other regularly for two months now. Delaying it till now seems fishy to me. Am I supposed to believe that he only had the guts to tell me after seeing Harry and I in the pool? Bollocks!

Harry and I in the pool, now that's some thought, as a full smile creeps on my face as I look at my cake while I cut a piece with the fork on hand.

"Why are you smiling?" A familiar voice asked me, as if on cue.

"Harry?" I look up at the person talking. I smile as my browns meet his greens. I knew it was him from his voice and that heavenly scent that emanates from him. He looked so hot with his buttoned down white shirt and black skinnies. We're twinning attires. Except he shows more cleavage.

"I see you did some shopping," he eyes my paper bags. "Or should I say hoarding?"  He chuckles.

I make a funny face in response. Guilty as charged. "What are you doing here?" I ask to change the topic, sipping my sweet tea.

"I met someone in Urasawa," he casually says. "I was about to call you and ask what you like for later. Then I saw you here."

"Serendipity," I smile at him. He furrows his brows. "Serendipity, fortunate discovery by accident. Google it." His eyes light up and he smiles back.

"If you put it that way, yeah it is," he drawls as his dimple pops. My heart lurches. "Why don't we just have dinner here? It's almost 5pm anyway? Do you mind?" He asks as he picks my fork and goes for the cake.

"As long as you don't have Hepatitis or Tuberculosis," I said with a straight face. He almost choked. "Nah, there are too many people here. I don't like any unwanted attention. Let's just head home and just order pizza," I offered. "I love any cheesy pizza with Moscato."

He looks skeptical at my choice of food. "Really? Pizza with wine? That's a bit weird. You really are something." We both rise from the our seats and he leaves money on the table. "Shall we?"

I pick up the money and hand it back to him. We argued back and forth on who should pay because I insist on paying for my own food. He being the gentleman he is, insists he should. He ends up leaving cash as he pushed me towards the door and threatened to carry me out if I go back to pay for myself.

"Ok. Where is your car at?" He asks while carrying all my bags. Such a gentleman. "Whoa, some shoes you have," he eyes my cherry red docs.

"Not like your girly ones," I pointed at his suede chesire boots, smirking.

"You hurt my feelings, love. But I thought fans love this!" He gives the best pout and puppy dog eyes.

"Because you're Harry!" I nudge him with my shoulders.

"Hey, are you saying they're ugly."

"I didn't say that. I meant you can practically wear anything or nothing, and girls will still swoon over you. You're the freaking emperor!" I lifted and waved both arms for effects.

He laughs at my comment. "Freaking Emperor. I haven't thought of it that way."  He gets closer and whispers to me, "and i'm the emperor who will bring you to my California King."  His breathe fans my ears sending electricity all over me.

I opened my mouth to say something when I hear a female voice calling Harry. We both stopped and turned. I see three pretty, tall, skinny, and fashionably dressed ladies approaching us. I bet these are his model friends.

"Hey Haz! When did you get here? You haven't even messaged me," said the long haired one with the flirty smile. Air kisses. She looks familiar.

"Wow! That's too much shopping for you!" The blonde with the prominent brows pointed at my shopping bags and eyed me from head to toe, which earned a raised brow from me. Air kisses.

"Oh, this is all hers." He smiled towards my direction. All three girls looked at each other and smirked.

"Can I talk to you? In private?" The third girl speaks and stares at Harry. No air kisses.

"I, uh..." Harry shifts his eye from me to the blonde one and looked uncomfortable. I take that as a cue for me to exit.

"I'll take these," I reach out my hand to get the bags. "I'll just see you later?"

"Uhm, I, I'll just walk you to your car first," Harry offered. The fact that he felt the need to stay and talk annoyed me a bit. I have to remind myself that I don't own Harry.

"No need, I'll be fine." I answer curtly as I pried the bags away from Harry's grip. "Bye, girls!" I muster my warm smile despite what I'm feeling. She must be that important for him to be distracted and forget his manners and not even bother to introduce us.

As I walk back to the car, I already knew that my dinner with Harry will be just another broken promise in my chestful of heartaches.