More Than This

Special Kind of Crazy

How can this happen? How did this happen? I keep on asking myself why I didn't see any sign? Haven't we just talked a few days ago? I called Josh and told him how anxious I am to see Harry after all these time. I ranted on how we shouldn't be together because it seems impossible but also that I really missed Harry so much despite all. If there was someone who sounded insane between Josh  and I, it's actually me! Josh of course being Josh did nothing but listen to my inanities. In the end, after all my babbling, he gave me the advice to just take things lightly and go with whatever my guts tell me. How did it all lead to this?

Josh and I haven't really been the best of friends since Harry and I happened. We naturally just floated apart, we both did not want our close friendship get in the way of my relationship with Harry, given the initial conflict we had. Our daily conversations got less and less, but we did keep in touch and called each other once in awhile, though. Although admittedly, we never really talked about it, that is, how Harry got in the way of the dynamics of our friendship.

"Harry!" I call out for him to come with me in the privacy of my bedroom. Harry smirks and wiggles his brows as he walks towards me. I am about to tell him something serious and yet his mind is focused on other things. I shake my head at him and mouthed "no" to which he mouthed "later". This is one of the things I miss with him, on how he can be so playful and sexy at the same time.

"Harry, you wont believe this." I say as calm as I can although my clammy and cold hands probably betray me.

"What's happening, love?" He asks. His face now all serious. "Love, whatever it is, we can get through this. Together." His assurance somehow calms me down. "Together" means so much to me.

"The number that texted Jeffrey, and all the emails, all trace back to the same location." I take a deep breathe. "Josh. It all leads to Josh." Tears suddenly fall uncontrolled. "I'm sorry Harry. But I think Josh did all of these."

Harry's brows furrow in confusion. "What?" "How can he? I mean, why? Are you really really sure? He is your best friend, right?" Harry asks. "Have you had contacts with him lately? Or remember any fight that might have caused this?"

I shake my head.  None that I remember. "I just talked with him a few days ago." I say ro Harry. But I suddenly remember something and my eyes widen. "Shit. I just remembered he asked me to have lunch with him tomorrow."

Harry nods. "I'm going with you then. I swear, if Josh hurts you, I will fucking make sure he wont see another tomorrow."

Oh no. I can handle this shit myself. "You can't be with me in broad daylight, much more with him. He is threatening you remember." I cross my arms and look sternly at him.

"You have to be fucking crazy to think I will just allow you to face him alone! So fuck it if someone sees me! I'm tired of hiding anyway and it will not be the end of the world. But if something happens to you..." he pauses and cups my face, his eyes meet mine. "THAT I cannot live with." His lips tenderly touches my forehead and remains so for a few seconds. Like a prayer has been said. He pulls back and his strong arms wraps around me. He buries his head on my neck and murmurs, "I love you, baby. I will never ever let anyone hurt you."

——————

Harry and I decided to send Anne, Gemma and the kids to a hotel for them to be safe while we figure things out how to solve the situation we are in. Harry filled in Gemma on what has developed but told her not to disclose anything to their Mum yet.

"So, should I wear a kevlar underneath this?" I ask laughing.

Harry is fixing the hook and zipper of my dress. "Not funny, love." He flicks my arm. "Don't fucking say that. Now I'm already having second thoughts. Maybe it's not a good idea to meet him?" He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me close to him. We both stare at our reflection in the mirror. I can see worry etched all over his face and mine, too. But I want this over and done with. I want to face Josh and know directly from him why he is threatening Harry and our family for that matter.

"Don't worry." I assure him. "I don't think this can be any worse. Josh is my long time best friend. I don't think he has it in him to physically hurt me." Deep in my heart I know that. But I also can't help but think that to threaten Harry at that length takes a special kind of crazy and  crazy people are unpredictable.

"Let me get through the plan again, you called Josh to meet you in the Noodle Bar instead. You will appear to go alone but I will be with Niall in a booth near your table." Harry narrates the plan and I nod in agreement. It's a good thing that Niall really was suppose to meet Harry today. Harry told him about what happened and he agreed to be part of it. For all I know, these two are enjoying this sherlock-like game that they are about to play.

—————

Harry and Niall arrives in the restaurant earlier than Josh and I, so that they can seat without being noticed. I'm friends with the owner and he made sure both Harry and Niall are able to enter and be seated discreetly.

Josh has already been seated when I got inside. The receptionist led me to our table. Josh looked dapper and fresh, not like how imagined a stalker would look like. I really thought I would see a distraught-looking Josh instead.

"Hi!" I wave at Josh and he stands up. I haven't been with him for a long time and I suddenly felt excitement, more than fear really, when I laid eyes on him.

"Alex!" He gives me the tightest hug. "I missed you so much! How long has it been? A year?" He is full smiles. Josh the stalker is set aside in my mind right now. In my heart I feel this is my bff I am talking to now.

"It has. How are you?" I say as we both take our seats. We exchanged pleasantries and proceed to order. Josh did order for me, still knowing what food I like. This noodle bar is a special place for us for we did eat here a lot before. This is where we chatted for long hours, after we accidentaly met again after years of being apart. This is where we rekindled our bff status. But fate had its ways, because soon enough, my world collided with Harry, and that got in the way of what we had then.

"So what's up? What's with this lunch thingie?" I bravely ask. I'm starting to feel anxious now, but I do my best not to show Josh.  I even avoid glancing at Harry's direction, so as not to trigger anything.

Josh smiles, but his eyes betray him.  I know Josh's every possible facial reaction.

"Speak, or forever hold your peace." I say laughing at my own joke.

"I miss our laughters together." He says in a rather serious tone. He looks around for a moment, and he holds my hand on the table. "Alex, uhm..." he pauses.

"What?" I say laughing. But really I'm more nervous now. Laughter is my best defense for now.

"You know that I will always love you, right?" He says as he stares at me,smiling, with his sad eyes.

"Uhm, yeah" i nod my head. I know what he means. This is something that he said to me when I clearly told him that I loved Harry years back, when he resented him so much. And now, I'm strangely hearing it again.

"And that no matter what, I will always be here for you." He says.

If only I could tell him the same words, I would. Because I really do love Josh and that I know I will always be there for him no matter what, but all in a non-romantic way. But I hold my words because I don't want to be misinterpreted and make it any worse than it already is.

"Josh, you are legit scaring me right now," I hold his other hand. "What's happening with you? Please say what you want to say," I ask him with all sincerity.

"I, uhm..." his words got interrupted by my phone ringing. Harry asked me earlier to turn on my ring volume a tad higher so he could call me when needed.

"Anna? What are you doing here?" Harry's voice says as I answer the phone.

"What the fuck." I say under my breath as I abruptly stand to search for Harry in the room. Josh looks at me, confused, then stands up to join me. We then both see Harry and we both have the same reaction.