The White Wolf

Twenty-Six: Check

Sydney

Leaning against the wooden railing of the deck I took in a deep breath, trying to digest everything I just heard in.

"How are you holding up, Syd?" Mat asked.

I turned my head to catch a glimpse of him leaning in the doorway examining at me.

"As good as one can probably do in this situation I guess...I don't know. How am I supposed to handle the fact that werewolves existed, much less I have been turned into one and all of the chaos that is going on here? How am I supposed to understand why Jaycen did what he did?"

He sighed sympathetically then opened up his arms. "Come here."

Before he even finished his sentence, I was in his arms squeezing him to death. "Mat, what am I supposed to do?"

"Nothing. What has happened is in the past. We have had to acknowledge it, examine and learn from it, and take that forward with us. Right now, you just need to learn to harness and work alongside your wolf. Other than that, the life of a werewolf isn't all that hard or bad."

I pulled away and laughed bitterly at that statement. "Yeah right. What about the fact that I have a mate? That we're essentially not a whole person? And how am I'm supposed to be this 'Luciana' thing to the pack? Mat, I'm going to scrap everything I know and have planned for my life! I don't know if I can handle that. And what am I supposed to do about Aaron and my mom? They don't even know where I am! And what about Meg and Emily and school? And the band?! I mean there's no way in hell I can get into college with this shit going on n-"

Mat squeezed my biceps and repeated. "Syd, Sydney, Calm down.

Doing as he said I unhealed through my nose, out through my mouth.

In through the nose...1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Exhale slowly through the mouth...Nose...Mouth.

"Sydney, we are going to get through this together, okay? You're my best friend, and I'm going to help you like all the times you've helped me. Understand?"

I nodded.

"Good, now go take a shower to relax your body, take a nap if you need. I can't imagine how sore you must be with all the time as a wolf yesterday."

I thought on this and shrugged, "I'm not sore really surprisingly, but I'm in desperate need of a shower. First, I'm going to find Jaci and ask for more clothes."

"Good idea," Mat approved looking me over.

I wore the same shirt from yesterday and some of what I assume are Jay's boxers.

Mmmm. Mate. My wolf cheered.

A sign escaped me, almost disappointedly in my wolf understanding and moving on from what Jay had divulged to us.

While I was glad he was finally honest and had told me everything that happens with Lilly and the two packs, I wasn't sure if I could look at him the same. The thought of fourteen-year-old Jay killing wasn't something I could just overlook despite how difficult it had been not only to confess but how it left a scar on Jay.

I will still give him the chance to grow our friendship, but this will always be something in the back of my head when I look at him.

☽✣☾

After I found Jaci she loaned me some white capris sweatpants that went to my mid-calf. She gave me a larger sports bra of hers and a red Mickey Mouse sweatshirt that fell off my shoulder.

Once I finished getting clothes, I headed off to Jay's bathroom. I was in his room and headed towards the bathroom door when an ominous feeling crept down my next.