Backword and Forward

No one does....

*flashback**
"Tess?! Tess?!"
Amatullah shook me, making the tears fucking spread over me face...
I sniffed and practiced to not pass out, by the scene in front of me..
The scene of Cameron kissing Alex..
Hugging her from behind with his huge arms of his and his amazing warmth..
And this was
From
FUCKING
experience....
I just sat there like a dope, sniffing the snot away and trying to rub away the blurry eyes..
I wasn't that pretty..
I wasn't that smart..
But I wasn't that naiëve either...
Atleast that's what I used to think...
I'm certainly not as popular as long legged Alex..
He slyly pecked her cheek..
Causing my heartbeat to faulter...
He hugged her nice and tight from behind, making me just reallly wish I was in her place.. EXTREMELY lucky place......
I mentally face palmed myself...
I fell for him..
After he had changed me so much..
The glasses
The braces
The attitude
The.. The whole outlook..
The whiny to tough..
The weak to strong..
The girly to the unfortunately MANLY..
Me...
I was a guy.
I acted like it so much..
I actually created a tough exeterior rather than a girly one..
I couldn't high pitch giggle..
I couldn't 'be open' or 'whine openly about my problems...'
I couldn't scream when a ball came ricocheting towards me..
I couldn't..
But that wasn't the point was it?!
I was brown and he was white..
THAT was where eveything laid..
Alex was white, Australien infact, just like Cam..
I fucked up there...
Whenever me and Rahul( my other guy friend who wasn't even CLOSE to me like Cam) used to talk to me, Cam used to fucking fume through his nostrils and go on his man period...
He couldn't handle jealousy for shit..
He was...
He was...
He used to be mine...
I couldn't snap out of my reveire until Amatullah literally swiped me off the bench..
I fell on the ground, broken leg and all, but the jerk on my shoulder felt numb...
I felt numb...
I blinked a couple of times and sat up, apparently attracting a lot of attention..
Cameron saw and rushed over, but I was burning..
I was raging..
So I put everything he taught me to use...
As soon as he hoisted me up and tried to charm me with that same fucking smile he fucked half the school with, I punched him while simultaneously kicking his nuts...
And then I shoved him, hot tears streaking my face...
He actually thought we had no chemistry, was he THAT fucking blind to all my stares or my reaction to his..
Did he just string me along with all those fake stares?!!!
He did a darn good job though didn't he?
His girlfriend gaped like a freaking fish while I did an uppercut on her jaw..
Screw not hitting girls, this one totally broke that rule..
She slyly took what was mine and she KNEW it, just like the whole fucking school...
Before they could recover I limped away, dragging Amatullah with me...
"OMIGOD OMIGOD TESS WHAT THE FRICK WAS THAT?!"
I calmly answered, surprisingly..
"That's called 'break up, shake up..'
++++++++reality++++++++
I was currently on my PS4 getting psyched about the netflix update..
Omilord!!
I was sooo waiting for this...
!!!!
Hey, cut me some slack, I loved netflix as much as the next person..
This is was nooo different..
After yelling abuse and practically earning myself some good ear candy from my mom, I settled myself down for 'binge with my virtual bf, Netflix..'
I had some ice cream on my lap, melting it all over my bed, and some popcorn kernals sitting on my desk...
Yep, I was gonna definitely enjoy this shit..
My mum had been very considerate and pissed off because of the situation and it went both ways..
She was fuming that I had raised my hand first because obviously the more harsher side of the punishment will fall on me..
But she ALSO knew this wasn't just something I could saunter over to a teacher and complain..
So she let me be, promising to sue the public school or something...
So yeh, my 1/2 month HOLIDAY starts hereon....
Laura had been trying (still is) trying to contact me..
But I put her calls on mute and blocked her as well..
My only available contacts were mum and Connor..
Say it Tess...
Say it..
And Cam's...
ButIamgonnadeleteanyway..
I signed into my pillow and deleted his number..
Well no more internet abuse henceforth huh?
I seriously don't know why, but Cam still thrills me, secretly gets me riled up..
He always made each day more interesting and ACTUALLY made me look forward to each day of school...
At that time anyway...
Boys just seem to like the girl who get undressed before the second date...
To be flyyy as a mother
Got my both eyes our for mr right
Hope that they all come out tonight..
Where do all the good boys go to hideaway?!?!?!
I quickly zoned out there..
Anyway, yeh, that song really just spoke to me..
I don't listen to break up songs when I don't get a rose on Valentines or I loose my man...
That's just my way...
Of expressing myself..
I either hit the gym and punched the shit out of the punching bag, or just watched netflix 'deadpool' or 'blended' or something like that..
Not shit like 'the notebook' with a box of tissues and my girlfriend.. I'm just weird like that, cause half my friend circle always call me over for that..
I don't believe in romantic sunsets or 'getaways'..
I don't believe in kisses in the rain or tight hugs that can put all your pieces back together...
I used to..
Cam led me to that...
But fuck him...
Cause I can't seriously bother...
But on second thoughts, I actually want to go the gym now, at least the boxing gym...
I quickly switched off the 'Friends' episode and leaped off the bed..
I reached for my wardrobe, snatched a pair of Addidas gym shorts and a Nike sweat absorbant...
I seriously sweat like a pig when I punch....
I grabbed my skateboard from the attic and rushed down the stairs, because something told me my mum wouldn't stop me right about now...
She was at the office anyway..
Wouldn't be out until 7:00 or 8:00 at the most..
Later than that was 'panic code' of either
a) urgeeeent ass meeting (which will come forwarned with message)
b) Kidnap..
c) Rape..
This was our mutual agreement, and so far only A had happened..
With message..
Otherwise my whole boxing crew will have to go on a search party..
After slipping my phone and headphones into my pocket I rode off..
Bending down through the harsh wind..
My music jarred through my earphones as my hair got whisked backwords...
It was clearly a windy day and I seriously wasn't ready for wind..
I wanted something like rain or sunny..
Not wind..
Wind was for..nice pictures and cool car rides...
Gawd...
Anyway, I almost got run over when I crossed over a stop light and blamed it on the wind to the ludicrous driver..
I actually had the nerve to stand on the pedestrian crossing and make cuckko signs to his head before racing off..
Well that was refreshing..
I quickly sent an 'invitation' to Connor to 'optionally' come and join me at the gym..
My message almost came in a heartbeat, like he predicted it.. Or something..
Maybe it was all Laura's doing..
Creepy AF...
'Sure'
Alright..
Cool..
'👍🏻'
I turned it off and slipped it in my pocket again, concentrating on where I was zigzagging..
That's right folks, I can skate without even looking in front of me..
I know..
Don't even...
I halted next to the rickety 'Boxing High' corner..
I quickly texted Connor the address as I forgot to and almost wondered how he agreed without knowing where to come..
'Boxing High, Street 714, Road- Cherry avenue..
East Coast...'
'Thanks, was about to ask you that question..😂😜'
'....⚡️'
I smirked and pushed open the door, jingling the bell..
"Anyone? JOHN?!"
I shouted inside the dusty, musty void..
"Tess?"
"JOHN!"
I squealed like a 5 year old and hugged him, more like collided into a wall, but hugged him all the same..
I grunted a little bit when my face slapped across rock hard abs, but eh..
He chuckled making his chest move up and down..
"This is why I stick to high fives sweetie.."
"Ya get what ya get.."
I shrugged when I pulled away and fist-bumped him...
"So how's the ol' timer keeping up?"
"Uhhh, doing well, how bout' urself?"
He had a slight Western twang..
Imagine Magic Mike in a cowboy costume minus the shirt and BOOM you get John..
He was every horny girl's dream but for me? He was just this 36 year old, a pretty fatherly figure dare I say..
He had a shirt on today, but he was always a tease to the older women carrying shopping, making their eyes widen and drop their stuff..
Causing him to chuckle and go out and help them, purposefully getting his abs 'out there'..
Yep, definitely a fatherly figure..:))):):):):):)
I chuckled when he mussed my hair up and bent down, seriously, he was wayyy too tall, even for me...
Like he was 6'6 or something..
Leading baskatball allstar and am-ay-zung boxer..
He just wasn't big on cleaning or anything..
But he was good at keeping a place busy and bustling..
So this place was never swatting mosquitos....
I smiled and headed into the ring...
I hooked on some thick gloves and took a stance next to the heavy, 1 Tonne punching bag..
I felt extremely destructive today..
I swung a punch and immidiately made my knuckles go purple..
Ahhh I definitely need to come here more often, mandatory to...
I signed..
I started violently punching, probably looking like a deranged clowm trying to hug a rapist...
I stopped when I heard a bout of claps..
John and Connor were smirking, looking at me from the ring..
"Good job T, but you still need extra practice..."
I nodded mutely and continued to picture Cam's face on the bag...
Connor jumped inside the ring and held my hands, facing it towards his chest and sincerely looking into the depths of my soul...
Seriously...
He placed his hand over mine and placed if above his beating heart..
I actually hitched my breath..
He actually got my well-worn, well- gotten over gurly gushs out..
But he didn't smirk or try and prove a point..
He just kept it there and looked deeply at me before signing deeply...
"Tess..."
"Connor.."
"I'm sorry.."
"Nothing to get sorry about.."
"No, it's just.... I'm sorry, for everything.. For everything and everyone.. Laura's almost broken my phone, ringing me up and telling me to tell you to pick up her phone calls and understand her explainations.."
"No..."
"Then listen, because she knew and predicted your answer...
Stupid soulmates...
She didn't do it right?!
She didn't...
She didn't Tess, honestly...
I breathed out a sign..
But Amanda dug through history..
Your history..."
I seriously thought I would pass out there..
Who else than the mightiest?!
The one I got revenge on pre-orderly..
Only one name, Cameron...
Cameron Woodsworth.................
But amidst all my tumbling thoughts and whirlwind emotions, I could only utter one friggin coherent sentence....
'Oh, let's box'...