Decisions// DolanTwins And Cameron Dallas

Chapter 22 - Face Time

Jenni's Point of View
     I arrived home from the concert, and I saw my mom wasn't home, so I walked up to my room. I sat up on my bed, and all I could think about was what had just happened. 
    The scene of Andrea kissing Cameron kept running through my mind.
   'She probably didn't even like me,' I thought, 'She probably just wanted to be my friend to get closer to Cameron.' I had really just lost my best friend, and I couldn't help but feel a rush of sadness. Andrea had been friends for as long as I can remember and we've been through so much. It hurt to think that she just kissed my ex, and looked like that she didn't even care how I felt about it. She might have actually really been my friend, but I could help but think bad about her.
    I couldn't help it, the more I thought about losing Andrea, the sadder I got. I bit my lip because I felt the tears forming in my eyes. All at once the tears fell out of my eyes. I couldn't stop from crying, it was as if I couldn't think about anything else except for Andrea.
   I tried to stop thinking about Andrea, but that only made me think of Cameron. He kissed Andrea and it really hurt me. I thought he really liked me, and I really liked him too, but I guess that didn't matter to him since he kissed Andrea. The thing that bothered me most was that he looked like he didn't care either, until he knew that I was apologize. The more I thought about it, the more bad thoughts that came into my mind. I kept thinking that Cameron just wanted to apologize just so he could hurt me again. With that, more tears came.
    "Stop crying Jenni," I said to myself through tears. I couldn't stop, I just kept getting ad thoughts that I knew weren't true, but my mind made me believe them. It was like my mind was taking control of me, making me think I was just so stupid for everything I've done. 
    'I swear Jenni, your so stupid. Andrea was not even a real friend, and all Cameron wants to do is hurt you, it would be better if you weren't even here,' I thought. 
    "No Jenni stop, that's not true, those are just your bad thoughts," I said trying to stop thinking about Cameron and Andrea.
    Somehow, in between thinking , I ended up in the bathroom.  I sat on the floor crying, until out of no where, I got out a razor and took the blades out.
   "Jenni, you better than this," I told myself. I couldn't stop. It was as if my bad thoughts were controlling over my actions. Soon I had a blade in hand, close to my skin.
    'Jenni, your a better person than this, you're going to regret doing this,' my conscience said. I ignored my conscience because I had no other choice.
    I put the blade on my wrist and began to cut. It hurt, but I didn't care. Cutting help the pain of Cam and Andrea go away.  For some reason, I liked the feeling of the blade on my skin, and seeing my skin bleed. I felt like with each cut, the pain faded a bit.
    I put the blade down, and I looked at my arm, it had spots of blood all around it. I had stopped crying, but looking down at my cuts made me cry more. 
    'Your so dumb Jenni, why did you do this to yourself,' I thought. I knew I couldn't just keep crying, I needed someone to talk to, someone I knew that could help me with my problems. I was thinking of who I could talk to and I instantly thought of someone. Ethan.
    I grabbed my phone, and because I really needed to see him, I decided to face time him. He soon answered and he looked worried.
   "Jenni, what's wrong, it looks like you've been crying," Ethan said.
   "Well it's just I can't stop thinking about Cameron and Andrea." I said trying my best to hold back my tears that were forming.
   "What did they do?" I could see the anger starting to grow in his eyes. 
As soon as he asked, the tears fell down my cheeks. I lifted my arm up to wipe my tears. I was about to answer Ethan's question when he spoke up again."
    "What the hell are those?" Ethan said pointing to the cuts I had put on my skin. By now I could tell he was really mad.
   "Well I- I cut myself Ethan."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~