With the Lights Off...

(69): Over and Over Again

* Hey guys! So, the reaction to the out-of-nowhere update was that Ian is a jerk and an asshat. You know, for walking out like he did. But, let's be honest. He was entitled to being upset. Don't argue with me on this HAHA. I'm glad you guys are still reading this story. We're almost to the end, I swear. It's kinda sad though, because I'm going to miss writing this for you guys :( I might be posting an original story on SwoonReads.com so make sure to check that one out. Love you! PS, this chapter is told in Nina's POV, then Ian's, THEN NINA'S again. You'll understand why soon :) *

Clive and Sebastiano's Wedding

That afternoon

Nina's POV

"Nina, can I get you anything?" Derek offered, once we got into his room. 

I shook my head and pointed to his bed. "You get in bed, I'll get you something," I said. "What do you want?"

He shrugged and made his way back to his bed, lugging around his dextrose-wheeling thing. "Is pizza anywhere on that menu?"

"You wish," I said, looking through his hospital-approved meal list. I grabbed a copy and made my way towards him, helping him get back into bed without tangling himself up in tubes. He sat down and tried to catch his breath, closing his eyes tightly. "You alright?"

"Considering that I'm -."

"Enough dying jokes, because I was one word away from sucker-punching you," I scolded, helping him lie back down on his bed. I pulled the covers until his waist and held onto his hand. "Let's see what's on the menu for this afternoon."

I sat right next to him, as I read through the menu. For some reason, the only letters that were visible to me were Is, A, and Ns. I tried flipping the menu over and over, but Ian's name kept on popping up on every item. 

"How are you holding up?" Derek asked, taking my hand. 

"Considering that the only available food that you can consume is either saltless or sugarless, I'm pretty sure I'm holding up fine."

"Nikolina, I am not playing," he said. "You know that Ian was just upset."

"Oh, I heard that loud and clear. I was pretty sure the emphasis was made when he stormed out of the hospital and drove away," I said, trying to make sure that my voice sounded steady. "He's going to have to get over it."

Derek rolled his eyes and snatched the menu away from me. "One, we're getting pizza. I'm bribing Rob," he said. "And two, if you knew what I knew, you wouldn't think that way."

I stood up and stared at him. "What DO you know?"

"That having kids is the dream for Ian," he said. "He had that dream crushed once, I'm pretty sure you know. Then, when he was with you, it was possible for his dream to come true again. You can't honestly blame him for walking out, can you?"

"Right see, that's exactly the problem," I said. "He told me that no matter what, he'd be okay. That we'd be okay. I told him straight up that I wasn't ready yet."

"Yeah, you told him you weren't ready," he said. "But, that smile on your face and how happy you were that it wasn't happening for you two? Nina, that broke his heart. It didn't matter to him that you weren't ready, but how you handled it made him think that you'll never ever be. That you don't want what he wants."

I rolled my eyes and he held up his hand. "You don't get to belittle the way you made him feel," he said. "I understand that you aren't ready, but let's face it, Nina. Being THAT happy? Ian didn't deserve that."

"You don't understand," I said, swallowing hard.

"Of course I don't," he said. "I'm not the one with the dream of being someone's dad nor am I the one who completely shut down someone else's dreams. What I don't get is what is with the two of you? Do you just love being unhappy?"