Can you save me?

Distraught

Amber Mikelson

I had no damn idea that this will happen but when his rough hands cupped my cheeks, my breath grew shallow and I knew what would follow. My eyes closed since I was overwhelmed at his intimacy.

And then his lips touched mine. If touching him was electric, this was fire, red hot fire and I was burning in it. His kiss was rough like his personality and there was something desperate about it. But I didn't mind, instead I allowed myself to burn as I responded with equal fervour.

All this while my fingers tightly clutched to the front of his shirt as if he was another part of a dream which might break if I let him go. And it came as a pleasant surprise that I didn't want him to go, to stop holding me, stop kissing me. I had no idea I wanted to kiss him this much.

His kiss deepened and so did his hold over me, now his one hand pulling me closer by my waist. It was painful how fast my heart was beating, enough to jump out my chest but it didn't bother me much.

I was clearly alert to every motion, his hands travelling behind me, making me shiver uncontrollably. A group of people passed talking about something at a distance from us.

And that broke apart our kiss. As soon as his lips left mine I felt the loss. My nerves were in havoc and I might be as red as a tomato. I opened my eyes to look at Ian, to get explanation to why he did that suddenly when he was anything but attracted to me.

I noticed him looking at me with a frown, a question and frustration. This hurt me more than it should. I never took Ian to be a player, heart breaker type but his expression was not one would like to see on a person after a passionate kiss.

"Don't dare tell me it was a mistake Ian." I tried to make it sound like a light threat breathing heavily.

He winced at my words and disappointment washed over me in waves. Why am I reacting this way? It was not like I own him, Yes I liked him a lot since when I don't know but a kiss was just a kiss.

"It is a mistake." He said the words in a low whisper as if it was meant just for him.

I laughed out harshly.

"And then I presume, we shall never talk about it." I said preventing from tears flowing out.

I was over reacting, maybe because I have liked a boy after a long time and even though he was rude and cold, I decided to trust him. And got flowed with his help, his daily visit to cafe, our little walks and talks.

He never even said he liked me, not even as a friend.

"Let me take you back home Amber." Ian said with a guilt clear in his tone.

But was the guilt on kissing me or rejecting me after the kiss.

"No, I will be fine Laserian, I can walk myself home." I said more sharply than intended.

I was never good at hiding emotions.

A look of pure hurt crossed his face but then after a moment he was passive again.

I turned and walked away, my heart hurting worse than my foot in heel and that was saying a lot because my feet was swollen and red.

But that was not even the worst part, I was completely utterly insane now because Laserian O'Fearghaile smelled really good, like freshly brewed coffee, like summer breeze and jasmine...damn, up close, Ian smelled like my panther.

I really hoped that this was his cologne and not Laserian himself.

***

I have never been distraught. Even after the pain of nightmares, even after the workload, even after being friendless almost all my life I was never distraught.