Can you save me?

Ice Princess

Laserian

I do not know what hell is like but I am pretty sure what I was feeling was pretty close. Leaving her after kissing her was the hardest thing I have done in my life and I have done really tough things before.

I had no idea that she would respond to the kiss but the ardour with which she did surprised me, pleased me and irked me all the same. I had to create distance, I had no idea that my feelings for her were that strong. It was clear that Marc was actually spot on with his judgement and I have been in serious denial.

I was dangerous for her, my feelings were dangerous for her.

But now it was more than clear, I cannot kill Amber. I cannot kill someone that important to me. So all I did was stay away from, I cannot be close to her and avoid what I think and feel.

I already made a mistake and the hurt on her eyes was haunting me.

But did that made me leave her completely. No, that was impossible for some reason. So I kept tabs on her in form of birds, animals, a shadow.

Seeing her this wrecked was heart breaking. I never thought it was possible, because apparently like everyone said my heart was made of ice. So now that ice was in pieces and the shards were piercing my heart as I saw the dark shadow under her eyes, the redness from the crying after nightmares, the shagged shoulder that had no support.

Among all the emotions I felt another one was jealousy. Yeah, I was jealous of even my band mates who she talked with all smiles and laugh but specially that Mattix who was there to pick her up every other night, who met her at library and often dropped by the coffee shop.

That was the time I felt the animal in me go murderous but it was my fault so I held it in.

Marc being Marc saw my miserable condition when we were told about the photo shoot.

"You have it bad for the girl man." He said not teasing but in a concerned tone.

I wanted to deny and glare at him, wanted to punch him but I just sighed tiredly. What was the use of lying, to him and to myself?

"Terian says she looks miserable for past few weeks, what happened at the dance Laser?" He asked.

I didn't respond, he didn't question further.

"She is the first thing good happened to you, I have never seen you smile and relaxed like when you are around her. Why are you avoiding her?" He said with a frown at my behaviour.

"If you knew you will hate me." I answered not sure what else to say.

He was right , she was the best thing that happened to me since I lost the only happiness in my life, my family.

"I can never hate you, you should have known by now. I tolerate you even in your worst glaring mode." He said laughing lightly.

"Take your time but don't be an ass that everyone thinks you are, she sees past this cold exterior, don't let her go." He said keeping a hand on my shoulder.

My shoulders shag down under his touch of his support.

If only he knew that Amber was the one I was asked to kill by his father.

***

What? What? My mind asked this zillion times and yet no answer. It was too numb after shock. Not only did she wait alone in the pitch dark forest for the panther me to show up, she even shared her feelings with it.

It was a battle between my heart and mind as I saw her from the darkness sitting there waiting for an animal. She look distraught, not only she lost a friend but also her pet. The pain was clear in her hazel green eyes and debating that whether I should show up or not.