When Stars Cross

Chapter 54

Chapter 54

It had been four days since Janet had passed away. My dad was still recovering very slowly, and I tried to be there for him in every possible way I could. News broke of my mother's death and my late-night drunken motorcycle escapades, but the tabloids awful commentary was the farthest thing from my mind. I had grown even closer with my dad throughout these 96 hours, more than I ever thought I could before. But because even stepping foot in the empty house caused my father to feel the loss Janet all over again, we decided it would be best to stay somewhere else until we laid her to rest. When Jordan heard we were planning on spending the next few days at a random Marriot, he refused to let us book the hotel, insisting that we stay with him for as long as we needed.

My dad, and I ended up having an official sleepover at Jordan's house, even going so far as to pack an overnight bag, and order Chinese takeout. We busted out the blankets and popcorn, and camped out in Jordan's living room. I was even able to meet his mom for the first time, something Jordan had clearly never done with any other girl. He was fidgeting all over the place, and I was positive I saw a blush creep up on his neck. His usual calm composure had flown out the window, and it made my chest ache. Although I really didn't have any other choice but to meet his mother, due to the fact that my dad and I were permanently parked on her couch; Jordan's demeanor showed me that he genuinely cared about me. His endless questioning about what I thought about her was another giveaway, too.

Oddly enough, the campout at Jordan's wasn't as weird as I thought it was going to be. I never thought that one day my dad and I would be in our pjs at Jordan Taylor's house, but he went out of his way to make sure we had everything we needed to feel comfortable, and rented a surplus of movies to entertain us. My dad was dressed in his silk button down pajamas, Jordan sported a loose tee and pajama pants, and I stuck to my trusty UCLA hoodie and leggings. We watched every single James Bond movie in it's entirety, and stayed up late listening to my dad's crazy childhood stories and the occasional anecdote from him and Janet's epic romance. The more he talked about her, the easier her death became to manage, and I was eternally greatful. He was still deeply saddened by the loss, but I was beginning to see a hint of the old gleam in his eye.

I hadn't realized how in love my parents actually were, and how amazing of a woman my mom was. The four days we spent together, locked inside Jordan's house playing various board games and stuffing our faces with junk food, had shown me everything I had missed in the last 17 years. My dad told me about the time Janet learned how to sew to make me a one of a kind tree costume, so I could stand out in my first school play when I was a kid, or the countless times she would stay up at all hours of the night emailing and calling back people for a single audition, when I first told her I wanted to become and actor. I understood now, that around 13 when my career started to really kick off, something snapped within her, and she lost a piece of herself. She was overworked, bitter, and the fire and passion fueled by her love for me had burned out. Janet was tired. She had pushed so hard for so long, and without the company of the love of her life, she felt alone in the middle of my success. As I began to blindly resent her for her neglect, she became a darker version of herself and fell into a deeper hole of anger and hurt.

Nonetheless, my father never stopped loving her, and made an effort to come home whenever he could. Janet told my dad about her cancer right after my accident, when she was told she only had a few months to live. On the day of the movie premier, my dad woke up to find her cold body lying next to him in bed. He called the ambulance right away, but it was no use. It was simply her time to go.

As I stood perched in the plush cemetery grass, my inky heels sinking into the ground, and clutching the fabric of my short black gown, a painful thought snuck into my head. Janet had never gotten to see my name in lights or the fruit of her years of labor. All she ever wanted was to see her only child succeed in following their dreams, and she wasn't able to do that. The cancer had robbed her of her life goal, and I wanted nothing more than to tell her that I had made it. The reviews for When Stars Cross were outstanding, and there was already talk about it being nominated for dozens of awards. I was suddenly a household name, and that was all Janet had ever wanted even though she had a different way of showing it.