When Stars Cross

Chapter 33

Chapter 33

"Wow, we haven't actually sat at the diner table as a family in years." I said, completely shocked that Janet was actually serious about spending family time together. The circular table was covered end to end in Mexican foods curiosity of Maria.

I thought she was going to brush it off like she always does, but this time was different for some reason. She looked off, like someone has just peed on one of her lady-suits. Maybe she was coming down with a cold or something, her coughs literally shook the entire house at night, keeping Barb and I up for hours.

Since my Dad has returned from his business trip he's been acting a little funny too. I think me getting hurt made him act different towards me, almost as if I'm made of glass. He looks at me with sadness in his eyes, and I want it to go away. I'm physically all healed up, but inside it's still like a war zone. I don't like to talk about it. I don't even like to think about it. It was the single worst day of my entire life. I had never been so scared and so vulnerable before. Someone who I loved with all of my heart, turned out to be a complete monster, and he gets to walk free. I constantly live in fear that he'll come back and finish me off. I haven't been able to sleep or eat much lately. Charlie and Joey have been amazing with getting my mind off of everything, but I hate dumping all of my problems on them all the time, so I keep to myself.

"Sam." Janet snapped at me. I looked up and saw them both staring at me concerned looks plastered on their face.

"Sorry...I just zoned out, my bad." I mumbled. She sighed heavily and attempted to fix her un-Janet like messy hair.

"Sam, look I would really appreciate it if you could just try and focus for once, you spacing out isn't helping anyone. This is important." She said in an agitated tone.

"Excuse me if I'm not exactly paying attention to your every word Janet, I have a lot going on right now and playing house isn't exactly at the top of the list." I bite back harshly.

"Sam, you will not disrespect your mother that way." My father shouted at me.

"Oh you mean the "mother" that didn't even visit me when I as in the hospital?"

Janet slams down her silver ware on the hardwood table. "Look, for once, not everything is all about you, damn it." She growls viciously.

"Are you serious? I just got back home from the hospital after being beaten by my boyfriend. I loved Matt and he hurt me more than any bruises or scars can show. And not only did you not visit me in the hospital, but you haven't asked if I was okay once, and you have the audacity to tell me everything isn't always about me? It's never been about me. It's always been about business deals or contracts or acting, I don't even feel like I've had a Mom ever since my career took off, and that isn't fair. God forbid I actually want a connection in this house with someone other than Barbra, or want to just have my own mother hold me and tell me she loves me. Now if you excuse me, I'm going to go pack for the tour, if you decide you want to attempt to be a real mother again you can say goodbye." I roughly slid my chair back and stalked upstairs, making sure to slam my door hard enough for both of them to feel it in their chest.

I immediately grabbed my empty suitcase and threw it on my bed, before I plopped down next to it. I looked down at my wrist and saw the Pandora bracelet Matt got me for Christmas one year. I thought it was the ugliest thing at the time, but I wore it for him because I didn't want to hurt his feelings. I forgot I even had it on, it was like it was a part of me.

I ripped it off franticly, and I felt the tears begin stinging my eyes. I threw the dainty piece of metal on the floor and heard a thud as all of the charms landed everywhere. Sobs began to rack my body looking down at the shattered bracelet, and I couldn't stop. I cried for at least thirty minutes, just allowing myself to grieve for the person I had lost.

Myself.

I was throwing the last items of clothing and toiletries into my bag, trying to get out of this damned house as fast as possible. A month touring the country with Charlie and Joey should be just what I need. So what if I have to publicly date Jordan, a few dates and interviews and it will all be over. Then he will leave me alone, and all of this drama and stress will be over. My feelings for him will slowly fade and everything will be back to normal.

I hear a soft knock on the door and I turn around to face Janet coming into my room. She looks like she had been crying for a while and I almost allow myself to feel bad for her.

"Sam..."

"Did you come in to tell me I'm not important again, because I'll pass. I've gotten enough verbal abuse from you to last me the month I'm away." I zip up my suitcase and begin to put on my jacket. Janet just stood there, staring at me with this strange look on her face that resembled remorse.

"Just have a good time okay."  She said quietly and walked out of my room. I shook the sad feeling from me mind, I refused to let Janet ruin this for me. I slung my purse over my shoulder and wheeled my purple suitcase down the stairs clumsily. I hugged Barb goodbye and yelled a french goodbye to Franklin. Once outside, I threw my stuff into the backseat of my rarely used silver Honda and jammed the key into the ignition. I looked back as I was backing out of the stone driveway and saw my Dad holding Janet, sobbing heavily into his arms, and I quickly drove away.