Sometimes Things Just Fall Apart *Edited*

Chapter Forty-Five

Mia

I pull up on my driveway and shut the engine off. I don't move though, I don't know what to do with myself. How can this be happening? After all these years, after three children, how can I be going through this again?

Riley is just about to start school, my kids are growing up and I'm starting a new chapter in my life where my kids are moving on and learning new things everyday, they're not babies anymore. Four years since my last child was born and I decided that was it. I never wanted anymore. I had my perfect family.

I look through my drivers window and I can see Ross stood in the living room with Robin. At first all I see is Ross smiling down at his little girl but then I notice him spin her around. My heart leaps at the sight of two out of the four people I love the most in the universe. I catch them doing this sometimes, Ross will take Robin and let her stand on his feet, whirling her around the living room. Teaching her to dance, showing her how much he loves her. Moments like that makes me so happy with the way my life has gone. After meeting Ross, falling in love and starting a family with him, I couldn't ask for anything more.

Maybe this might be a good thing...

But I can't go through this all again. The pregnancy, giving birth, the sleepless nights and the tantrums. I love the bones of my children and I wouldn't change them or anything I've been through with them for the world. But I never expected this.

I lean my head back and gently place my hand on my stomach. In the back of my mind I know I don't want this baby. I don't want anymore children, the last eight years have been the hardest years of my life but they have also been the best. And even though deep down I know I don't want this, I know I already love this baby.

...

It feels like hours have passed, but I know it's only been a few minutes and I know I have to go into the house. Ross has spotted me now and he'll be walking out the door soon, wondering what's taking me so long. I push the front door and step into my home, the home I've made our own throughout the years. All of the small details jumping out at me, that no one else would even notice when they walk in.

The markings on the door frame capture my attention first. They start off so low, reminding me of how little they were, and showing me now how they have grown so quickly.

I walk through into the living room where my two boys are sat in front of the TV watching a movie, while Ross is still twirling our daughter around. I lean against the door frame and watch my family, the way my boys eyes go wide at the screen as their favourite movie plays in front of them, the perfect squeal of laughter from my little girl as her Father picks her up over his head and slings her over his shoulder.

"Hello beautiful" Ross walks over to me, with Robin still over his shoulder. "Dinner won't be long"

"You cooked dinner?"

"Yes" He smiles proudly.

"He ordered pizza!" Robin shouts from behind Ross.

"You're not supposed to snitch on me!" He grabs Robin and pulls her back over his shoulder and holds her in his arms. She giggles up at her Dad and he doesn't hesitate to start tickling her, making her scream with laughter.

"Daddy stop!" She begs, but her laughter still fills the room and I smile at Ross. He's so good with the kids. When we first brought Robin home I was so scared, I had no idea what to do, she was so small and delicate I was worried I was going to break her. But Ross was so natural, he knew exactly what he needed to do, how to handle her. I knew then I was the luckiest girl.

Ross finally lets Robin go and instructs her to help her brothers get ready for dinner. She gives Ross a cheeky grin before doing as he instructs. She walks over to Ryder and Riley, taking both of their hands in hers and walks them to the kitchen to wash their hands.