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Louis smiled as he hung up the christmas lights around the apartment. It was a few days before his birthday but he still wanted to decorate the place. He wanted to surprise Harry since he was at work which gave him time to place candy canes everywhere and hang mistletoe above the door.
The curly haired man said that he didn't want a christmas tree but he didn't say anything about decorations.
Louis shook his hips to the beat of a random song playing from the radio he found in Harry's closet. It was one of those techno songs that he heard booming from the cars that passed by when he walked to work. He blushed at the thought that Harry could walk in at moment and see that he was only wearing his black hoodie and a pair of dark green cheeky panties that on the back said: Santa don't judge me.
He wanted to make it up to Harry for how he has been acting and what he did for him when he threw away his items.
He couldn't even fathom doing something like that. Thats like him throwing away his razor blades. He's tried to get rid of them but they always comes back. Thats why he has only been wearing long sleeved shirts.
He had cut badly the last time that he relapsed. It was meant to be just one or two. But now it was at least fifteen that scattered up his forearms. Hiding them wasn't really his main concern at the time but now he couldn't look at his skin without feeling bad.
It was cruel how he would do something bad to himself and then feel worse about it later, making him want to do it again.
But thats life isn't it?
He shook his head because he didn't want to be sad when Harry came home. So he finished putting up the lights and turned them on to reveal the basic red and green glow. He smiled at the mistletoe that he knew Harry would think was corny.
He wished he could put more but it wasn't his apartment to decorate so he disregarded the idea and turned his attention towards the sound of keys jingling near the door.
He smiled and padded towards the door, standing a few feet away so he wasn't in the taller man's face when he first entered the home. He bounced on his heels and held his hands behind his back as he heard the creak of the door and then emerald eyes were meeting his oceanic blues.
"Hi," Harry greeted, his gaze falling from his lips to his panties. He rose his eyebrows and entered the apartment so he could close the door and lock it behind himself.
"Hey," Louis grinned, charging towards him to push him against the door lightly as he attacked his lips. He didn't have to tell him that he wanted more than just a simple kiss because Harry was already spreading his lips and swiping his tongue against his bottom lip.
Harry's large hands cupped at Louis' ass, squeezing at the plump skin before smacking playfully to feel how it would jerk back in place. "Baby, lets do something different." He hummed, pulling back to reveal swollen lips and dilated eyes. His hands moved to his hips as he looked down at his partner.
"Like?"
"They're giving those christmas specials. Lets watch those on the couch." Harry suggested, earning a confused look from the smaller man. He was actually turning down sex to relax on the couch.
Louis smiled though because they haven't cuddled in a while. So he entwined his fingers in Harry as he lead them towards the living room, laying down on the couch and moving so Harry was laying on his back while his head rested against the arm rest.
He was a bit squished between Harry and the couch but he then moved so his head was resting on his chest and his right leg was bent over the curly haired man's while his hand was placed on his stomach.
"Rudolph or Frosty?"
"Rudolph." Louis stated, watching him struggle to reach the remote on the coffee table before turning on the tv and flipping onto the channel that was showing the famous holiday film.
It was silent while they watched the tv. Louis cuddled into Harry, feeling content with the smell of nicotine and alcohol that stained his sweater. He liked the feeling of his hand resting on the small of his back. He was absolutely comfortable.
"Harry?" He softly said, resting his chin on the man's chest as he looked up at him. He waited until his false green eyes were shining at him and his eyebrows raised. "What did you do during the holidays before i came?"
"Honestly?" Harry hummed, sighing when he saw the man nod. "I would go out and you know. I used to justify it as giving myself a present."
"Oh," Louis sighed, "What about your family? Did you ever go looking for them?"
"The first year I did but i stopped when i remembered that i couldn't see them anyways." He softly said, "Please don't ask me to." He shook his head, knowing damn well that the man would ask him to go search for them. Saying, 'do it for me'.
But he wasn't going to look for them. Not anymore.
"Sorry," Louis exhaled, moving his head back so he could watch the tv to distract himself from looking into his eyes. He smiled slightly as Rudolph pranced around with the elf he couldn't remember the name of.
"You understand why though, right?"
"Yeah, i get it. They cant see how you look." He shrugged, tapping his fingers on his chest.
"Not only that but I cant get attached to them. I cant feel bad for leaving anymore or the look on her face when i finally appear after three years." Harry explained, "I don't want to feel bad for what i do."
Louis nodded because he could understand that. He wouldn't want to go home with all the dark thoughts he had and pretend like it was okay when it wasn't.
His situation was different from Harry's. Okay.
"Lets not talk about this now," Harry murmured, placing a kiss on his forehead. His hand slid down from the small of his back to the man's ass, squeezing at the supple skin. "We should be talking about these panties though."
"I bought them a few weeks ago." Louis blushed, moaning lightly at the feeling of his fingers pushing them to the side so he could brush against the man's hole.
"I like them."
"They reminded me of your eyes. You know, when you were younger." He admitted, shyly looking up to see the curly haired man smile.
"They look nice on your skin." he noted, his fingers circling to tease his entrance that clenched at the air desperately. He smirked at the reaction he was receiving, using his index and ring finger to keep his cheeks spread while his middle finger rubbed at his hole.
"I thought we were going to do something different." Louis gasped, feeling himself harden against Harry's thigh. He wished he was wearing one of the butt plugs they owned so he could already be stretched but he didn't expect to have sex even though thats basically all they did.
"Do you want me to stop?"
"No,"
"Then shut up and spread your legs." He commanded, smiling as the blue eyed man shifted so he was straddling his lap. He looked up innocently at the taller man which made his heart ache because how could he be so lucky as to get such an obedient partner who is sticking by him and making him a better man than what he was before.
