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Harry bit at his lip harshly as he sat on the couch with his hand tangled in his hair while never ending tears trailed down his cheeks and stained his shirt.
He could hear Louis in the room, slamming drawers shut and the groans as he packed his clothes into a suitcase. The sniffles as he pressed down on the pile of clothes so it would all fit so he never had to come back.
Harry couldn't talk him out of it. His reaction was reasonable. He just wished he would have left while he was gone so he didn't have to watch him walk out of his life.
After Harry stormed out, he headed towards the bar and grabbed three girls from the alleyway, slitting their throats without a care in the world. It was a relief to him. He never felt better. It was like that knot in your shoulders that finally got removed.
He made sure to take them to the usual dumping spot and then came home to see that Louis was gone as well. When the small man came home, he was piss drunk with bruises on his neck and red knuckles.
He hurried to the closet and grabbed his suitcase, ignoring the curly haired man as he silently plead for him to just sit down and listen to his side of the story.
And thats where they were now. It was midnight and Louis was packing to leave Harry and probably never come back.
Harry wished he could say something. Anything that would convince him to stay but he couldn't find a thing to say. He messed up. It was his fault. Just like everything else thats happened in his life.
He gasped as Louis threw his suitcase onto the ground underneath the doorframe before entering the bathroom to grab his things, falling down on his knees as he placed his toothbrush and hairbrush into the pocket in the front. He zipped it shut and then stood to his feet again, finally looking towards the curly haired man who gave him a sideways look since he couldn't find himself to face him entirely.
"I'm still going to work at the bar." He muttered, running a hand through his fringe as he looked anywhere but him.
"Can you just say it?" Harry hoarsely mumbled, standing up with his watery eyes focusing on just the smaller man. His hair covered most of his face but Louis could see how bloodshot his eyes were. "Just so theres closure."
All Harry could look at was the red mark on his neck. Think about the bruises that would be in the shape of finger prints. He truly did wish that Louis could heal like him so he didn't have to look at the mess that would show on his skin.
The symbol that he was dating yet another dangerous man.
Louis opened his mouth, closing it seconds later when the words were climbing up his throat. He never thought he would be saying these words. He thought that Harry was the one. He might just be. "We're over." He breathed, grabbing the handle of his bag slowly.
Harry nodded, tilting his head down as his chin trembled. He sauntered behind him, wishing he would just speed up his slow pace so he could crumble against the door and cry his heart out since thats all he's seemed to be doing lately.
"Bye," he whispered as he opened the door for him, sniffling quietly as his hand gripped tight on the door knob.
"Bye," Louis replied, shyly looking up at him before groaning and getting on his tip toes to hug around his neck which caught him off guard. Just as he was about to wrap his arms around him to reciprocate, Louis pulled away and grabbed his bag, hurrying down the stairs.
Harry bit his lip once again, taking two steps backwards before slowly closing the door and resting his forehead against the cool surface. He whimpered as his chest broke with sobs, his knees wobbling underneath him only to give out as he fell down into a ball with his knees going to his chest and his arms holding himself in a tight ball.
"Idiot," he repeated to himself as he rocked slightly, shaking his head as more and more tears fell down to stain his sweatpants. "I cant do anything right."
He continued to cry in the silence of his apartment. He wished Louis was still there even though he was angry with him. He would rather be in silence with him than by himself.
How does that song go? He thought, Sometimes quiet is violent?
He'd honestly rather have his car radio stolen than Louis. Louis was his music. Despite how corny that sounded. He kept him grounded and made him actually want to change but now all he saw was red and his body was numb.
He clenched his jaw as he raised his chin to rest on his knee, his red eyes glaring straight ahead as his hands tightened around himself. He could feel the mentality that he used to own come crashing into his mind like a lifeboat being thrown towards him as he drowned in a raging sea.
Fuck everything. Let's not care anymore because caring gets me hurt. Be heartless. Thats the only thing i'm good at.
