The Name's Dean

Where's Sam

Sam lifted his sleepy head from the headrest. "You okay?" Bobby asked, looking at Sam with concern in his eyes. "I'm fine, Bobby. I just wanna see Gabriel." Sam felt his eyelids close for a moment before snapping them open again. "Sam, I can tell by the look on your face, you're not fine. When was the last time you had a full night of sleep?" Bobby asked. "When did Gabe land in the hospital again?" Sam retorted, folding his arms. "I said I was fine." He said firmly. Bobby glanced over at Sam once more, knowing his boy wasn't fine. And he knew he had to help the kid. "What are you doing?" Sam shrieked, alert and fully awake now. "Savin' your ass." Bobby replied as he swung the truck around in a terrifying U-turn, heading back to his house. "Turn back!" Sam yelled, trying to get to the wheel. His seatbelt held him back. Bobby slapped his hands away, quickly pulling off to the side of the road. "Now you listen her, boy! Ain't no way I'm gonna let you burn yourself out, waiting for your boyfriend to wake up! He'll be there when he wakes up. You'll get there in plenty of time. You need to look after yourself." Bobby said gruffly. Sam shot an acid look at the older man. "No." He defied. Bobby gave him a look of pity. "You don't get to say no." Bobby put the car in drive and pulled back onto the road, knowing he was doing the right thing.

The floor of the hospital looked sick, just like all its patients. Dean thought about putting a movie into his laptop, but he knew that wouldn't help. Castiel walked into the room, two bags of food in his hands. One of them was plopped into Dean's legs. "Thanks." Dean said, digging around for some tater tots. "You're welcome, Dean. I didn't know if you liked McDonald's, but I figured you could suffer until I knew what you did like." Castiel laughed slightly. "Not gonna lie, I hate McDonald's. I'll just have to choke it down for today though." Dean chuckled. Castiel smiled at him, though it faded after a few seconds. "Are you okay?" He asked, seeing Dean's face. Dean shook his head. "Sam's usually here pretty early. I don't like the fact he's gone right now. Something feels wrong." Dean frowned. "I'm sure he's fine. Maybe he woke up late or something." Castiel said. "He hasn't been sleeping." "So there's a good chance he crashed and hasn't even woken up yet. Dean, believe me, he's perfectly fine." Dean shook his head again. "No, he's not." Dean hesitated a moment. "Cas, I've seen that look before... On my own face... He wants to do something. Maybe he's not going to kill himself, but he's thinking about something." Castiel threw his food to the side, not even checking to make sure it landed on the brown paper bag. He was hugging Dean immediately, a tight squeeze. "Don't say things like that." He cried. Dean pulled gently away, wiping a few of Castiel's tears carefully with his thumb. "Cas, what's wrong? Usually, people don't get that upset over something like this." He asked. Castiel bit his lip for a long while. "Promise not to scream." He said softly. Dean nodded. Castiel turned around, facing the windows  instead of Dean. Castiel waited another moment. Then he slowly curled his fingers over the hem of his red shirt, crossing his arms over his stomach and pulling the shirt up. Dean's eyes went wide as he looked in horror at the millions of little white lines carved into the boy's back, some deeper than others, some longer. Castiel turned around, his stomach having many more lines. Dean let his eyes roam over Castiel's body, taking in the detail of it, and counting the scars. He quickly stopped when he reached a hundred. "Cas..." Castiel didn't flinch. He stood there for a long while, looking down at the ground. "Awe, Cas..." Dean swung his legs over the side of his bed, shakily standing up for the first time since he'd been out of surgery. He gained his ground and tossed himself into a hug with Castiel. Castiel flinched then, not having ever expected Dean to do that, but slowly wrapped his arms around Dean. "I don't do it anymore." He whispered. Castiel couldn't have any more voice with all the sadness and raw tears in his throat. Dean held him tighter. "I love you." He whispered. He felt Castiel go rigid in his arms, and for a terrifying moment, he wondered if Castiel was going to leave him. But he was met instead with a kiss, sloppy and painful. Dean didn't mind though. "I love you too." Castiel said, terribly quiet and broken-sounding. Dean put a hand on his cheek, resting his head on Castiel's. "It's going to be okay." He said sweetly.