LIKE THOSE MOVIES

Question

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"KAYA pala.." Ang nasabi ni Mama ng ikwento ko sakanya lahat. "Kahit na naiinis ako dahil 'di mo sinabi sakin, okay na, ayos lang. I understand." Andito kaming dalawa sa sala. Tulog na si Rhian and if she's here, di ko ishe-share sakanya. Si Papa naman, hindi pa nakakauwi.

"Sorry ma." I sincerely apologized. Nakinig lang siya sakin the whole time. Wala akong narinig najudgement galing sakanya kahit araw-araw niya ako noong inaasar. At kahit na ugali niya 'yon.

"But nak," Sumandal siya sa sofa kung san kami nakaupo. Naka crossed arms pa siya. "Hindi ba, sabi mo, nararamdaman mo namang mahal ka niya?"

Tumango ako. "Baka naman mali lang yung pakiramdam ko."

"Oo nga no? Baka masama lang pakiramdam mo kaya nakakaramdam ka ng mga ganon."

"Ewan ko sayo, Ma."

Natawa siya pero kalaunan, nagseryoso naman na. "And you told me na when you asked her if she loves you, iba ang sagot niya."

"Right,"

"She can't say na she doesn't love you."

"Yup,"

"So it means na there's something going on."

"That, I'm not sure. Maybe she doesn't want to hurt me even more."

Napaisip siya at napabuntong hininga na rin. "Nacacaloca naman 'yang si Prim. Malay mo naman, nak, may reason siya."

"Yeah, she have."

"Oh diba?"

I looked at her. "And that reason is Jared. Her love for Jared is an enough reason for her to let me go and hurt me."

"Hmmm, maybe it wasn't him. Masyado kang potassium nak. That's not good."

"Pero 'yon ang totoo."

"Bakit? Ikaw ba si Prim para alam mo 'yong totoo?"

"You see, Mom, I've been blinded. Kahit na isinasampal na sakin 'yong reyalidad, ayokong tanggapin. And now na I'm accepting it--ikaw naman yung ayaw."

"Siyempre mana-mana lang 'yan!"

I rolled my eyes over her. "Baliw,"

"Oh sige na. Go to sleep na. Kalimutan mo na 'yong nangyari sainyo kahapon."

"Kala mo naman madali." Sabay tayo ko. Tumayo rin siya.. "Kalimutan mo pansamantala. Matulog ka na."

UMAKYAT na ko sa kwarto ko, nagsara, humiga, kinuha ang cellphone. Wala siyang text sakin simula nung isang gabi. Nacontact siya ni Mama pero sakin talaga nitext wala. Siguro ayaw niya lang talaga pumunta that's why she's so sorry for that. Tumagilid ako habang nags-scroll ng posts sa facebook. Na pinagsisihan ko.

She posted a picture of her and Jared the night before yesterday. It's a dinner date and that night is when I waited for her. Great. Parang bumalik ang lagnat ko.

See. What made me think that she feels the same when in fact it was clear that she doesn't. Stupid.

I closed the app and open a folder. Marami-rami din pala siyang pictre dito sa cellphone ko. Some were even from my dslr and I just transferred it here. Dyahe. May copies pa ko sa laptop.