His Lost Queen [EDITING]

CHAPTER 47: END

  THIS PART AS WELL AS THE SUCCEEDING PARTS ARE NOT REVIEWED OR EDITED.  

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CHAPTER 47: END
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BRIN's POV

AFTER how many months, I am here again in this big house alone with my heart dead and broken into millions of pieces. Reminiscing the time when my son and wife was still with me. Wishing and hoping to God that I can stop and bring back the time so I can correct every single mistake that I did to my family. But who am I fooling, of course I cannot bring back the past all I can do is to regret what I did and wish I do all the things I should've do. But it's all too late. I am too late and I hate it.

I wish I take seriously what my friends' advice to me. Maybe I am not regretting now and maybe I have my family with me. But then again, being the fool I was and still am, I did not care and took the advice for granted just like how I did to my family.

I slumped down the sofa on my living room staring at the dark, lonely and lifeless house my family once called home. Just like these house my life is also dark from losing the two most important person in my life who serve as my light. Lonely, for I can't find the reason for me to laugh and feel joy because I know better than anybody else that I deprived myself from feeling and having happiness when I took Chantal and Linden for granted. And lifeless, because I know that the moment I let them free killed me and my emotions. Yes I am breathing but I am good as dead for my reasons to live are not with me.

A broken and bitter laugh resonated around the house which was then followed by sobs and then a loud and painful cry. I don't care if I looked like a mess right now because I am really a mess. My chance to get my family back was turned to ashes because of my ignorance. I know I hurt them so bad that being with me is a great pain to for both them. But then again I am still happy for I had the time to make them feel how sorry I really was and show them I love them. And I am contented with that.

I stood up and walk towards the bar counter of my house. Took a bottle of whiskey and downed its content from the bottle. I did not bother to look for a glass and drink from the bottle. I hope by drinking alcohol I will forget everything that happen especially the pain I am feeling. I want to forget all my problems and be numb even just for tonight.

I woke up from the sunlight passing through the window. Napahawak ako sa aking sentido dahil para itong binibiyak sa sakit. Damn that alcohol for this freaking hangover. As I sat up, napansin kong sa sala pala ako nakatulog kagabi. Magulo din ang paligid from the empty bottles of alcohol that I consumed. Habang sapo sapo ko ang aking ulo ay bigla akong napatakbo sa toilet. Bile rose from my stomach. Sinuka ko halos lahat ng karga ng tiyan ko.

Then it struck me one more time. Kung dati mayrong Chantal na aalalay sa akin sa tuwing nalalasing ako at nagkakaroon ng hangover ngayon wala na. Kung dati ipagtitimpla niya ako ng kape para mahimasmasan ngayon hindi na. Damn life. I stood up and went to the kitchen to make a coffee. Namimiss ko na naman nag mag-ina ko. But guess what, this is my destiny ang mag-isa dahil gago ako.

Hindi ko namamalayang umiiyak na naman ako. Akala ko naiiyak ko na kahat kagabi. Turns out I was wrong.

Here I am sitting in the island counter of my kitchen crying like a boy left by her mom. I am alone crying my heart out because I am a jerk.

A WEEK had passed but I never left my house. Nagkukulong lang ako sa bahay. Iinom malalasing makakatulog magigising ng may hangover tapos iinom na naman. Ganun lang ang ginagawa ko mula ng makauwi ako. Wala kong ibang ginawa kundi ang magpkalasing para lang makalimutan ang sakit na nararamdaman ko.

Wala ring nakakaalam na nandito na ako. I never told anyone that I am here in the Philippines. Even my parents. Pati na ring ang mga kaibigan ko. For now all I want is to be alone but I guess that's not gonna happen dahil sa lakas ng pagkatok nina Silver at Enzo sa aking pinto. Parang anumang oras ay gigibain na nila ang pinto ng bahay ko dahil sa ayaw koi tong buksan.