I'll Rise Up - Completed #Wattys2017

YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND

Sunday 17th of January 2016

Not wanting to speak until Tyler said something. My hands started to sweat so I rubbed them against my jeans nervously, it didn't help that the last of the sun was shining brightly down on the crown of my head.

Tyler considers what I just confirmed thoughtfully, not giving anything away, his face straight as I've ever seen it. "You don't have to tell me Dawson." Tyler focuses on me, knowing this is going to be hard for me.

"I am ready." I protested sharply, I continued more quietly, "look Tyler- just don't speak till I get it all out there." He just nodded agreeing. I cross my feet, "you deserve to know the truth; you're my best friend, I honestly have no idea where I would be if you weren't in my life," I state, smiling.

Tyler started to open his mouth, but I put my hand up stopping him, "If I have to keep stopping, it's going to be a lot harder for me to carry on," I confessed softly, I took a calming breath.

So I began. "My family was... perfect, and straightforward, mum was a stay at home mum who loved taking care of me," I started to smile facing the waves, feeling Tyler's eyes on my face, taking in each word I spoke.

"As you know mum's kind, loving but also very protective, she still is- even more now." l chuckle, then stop to continue. My hands start to shake, "my dad was a great man, he provided for us and I really did love him.'' I spoke, the first mention of my dad in months, ''he was a popular boss of this shipping company, called Bendtens,'' I added, ''that's all I really knew about it really about it.''

Spinning back to Tyler trying to explain, ''it's not like I wasn't interested in getting to know where he worked it's was just... not something I wanted to learn about.'' I picked at my fingers.

''Anyway, like I said before mum's protective of me, she always tries to keep me from the bad stuff for as long as she could. For example, when my granddad passed on dad side, I didn't even know the guy, but she still took me for ice cream, she waited until I finished, then took me to my favourite park.''

''She only told me once we got home when she had no choice, but to tell me,'' I explained, chuckling.

''-but one night- I came down the stairs a bit over a year ago...'' I sighed, taking a shaky breath, Tyler moved closer, grasping my trembling hands into his. Reassuring me that it's ok with giving it a light squeeze.

''I came down to the kitchen, the noise probably woke me.'' I told him all about that night like I was back there, seeing my parents arguing, the alcohol, my voice started to become hoarse, but I carried on. I told him about all the alcohol. I turned my eyes to look down at our joint hands.

Telling him about what my dad was like, how he spoke to me, mum knew my dad lost his job and started drinking. She thought he'd stop, but she found him the same night I did. Then the next day, she kicked him out, she filed for divorce a week later. she had just found out she was pregnant at the time.

''We were a wealthy- successful family, everyone in the shipping industry knew my dad, he had a lot of power, till he was forced out somehow.'' I then explained to Tyler about dad storming into the house a week before moving here. I had tears in my eyes now, my voice kept breaking when I got to the point where my dad hit me when I screamed at him. It felt like Tyler was clenching my hand more than I was his.

Pulling away from Tyler, but not quite ready to see his facial expression just yet. ''I know others go through a lot worse than what I came from, but it still hurts, you know.'' I let my eyes explore the sea...

Wheeling back at Tyler, a tender expression with a hint of anger flashing through his expression. ''You're okay Dawson, you're safe here, he can't hurt you anymore,'' Tyler reassured me, rubbing my back.

''I know,'' I whispered, but at the back of my head, they'll always be a what if, ''It's just that he's supposed to be my rock, I know he'd lost his job, but what give him the right to act out like that, he didn't just break me, he broke mum too.''

Tyler looks conflicted, but didn't look at me with sympathy, he knew I hated that, and finally he asks slowly, his eyes questioning, ''Is he the one who's holding you in that picture in your living room?'' 

''Yes... I put it there, so whenever I see it- It'll remind me that people change... even the best kind.'' Tyler shakes his head, a mad expression on his face.

''Are you ok?''

Tyler snaps, ''no... I'm not okay Dawson, he's an animal!'' He exploded while I reeled back in shocked, he paused calming down a little, then said, ''I'm sorry but look what he has done to you. He's made you stop being yourself, he made you not trust and hide yourself away.'' I looked away ashamed of myself.

Tyler grabs my hands. ''No girl, don't let him win, show him that you've won, fuck him, yes, he was your rock, but he messed it up, and he lost the best thing he had.'' He's right, I can't let what dad did anchor me down anymore. I nod. Tyler takes a long breath of relief.

''Good, you're amazing Dawson, don't let anyone hurt you, if they do, leave them, they don't deserve to know you... now let's get out of here, it's getting late and I'm starving.'' I laugh wiping the rest of my tears away.

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