13 and Pregnant

Tears, Confusion and Worry

I woke up to Tori shaking me. I couldn't open my eyes because she opened up all the blinds on the windows and turned on the lights.

Tori: get up Ella! It's 2 in the afternoon!!

Ella: mmmeh, what?

Tori: mom told me to get you up!

Ella: ok, ok, I'm up!

As I was getting up, I noticed I was really weak and achy all over. I just ignored it and went downstairs. I was really hungry!

I got a text from Katii later that day.

Katii: hey are you ok?

Ella: yeah, I guess I just partied to hard last night!

Katii: haha! Well just checking on you!

Ella: ok ttyl!

I didn't remember what happened last night until just now. Now the tears came out. They streamed down my face smoothly and silently. I stared at a picture of my family on my side table. My mom. My sister. Me, in the middle. Smiling. I tried to smile but it was nearly impossible, then I managed to smile when I thought about dad.

My dad died in the war when I was 4. I don't really remember much about him but I do remember him reading me a book to fall asleep at night.

I thought about Christopher. What would happen to him if I reported that he sexually assaulted me. He would go to jail. Have a fine to pay. I felt my stomach. I knew I wouldn't be able to tell if I was pregnant just by feeling around on day 2. I was so scared. My whole body shook. I couldn't think about anything but Christopher and the baby maybe inside me.

I knew you had to wait a couple of days to take the pregnancy test but I was so anxious to find out! I went downstairs and tried to act normal. Luckily, nobody was in the kitchen so I could just get in the fridge and go back upstairs without talking to anybody. I got a pudding and a banana. It tasted so good.