Emison: How About Forever?

Loss of relationship

Emily's POV

I sat in my bedroom alone most nights, I still spoke to the girls, well all of them except from Alison. They were the only people that were able to bring a slight smile to my face for a very small amount of time, other than that I was completely emotionless. I didn't feel anything. I was empty.
Me and my mom had barely spoken since my dads death, and when we did eventually speak it just resulted in me getting angry at her and then lots of arguing.

Tonight was the same, I was lying on my bed alone in my room just watching videos of me and Alison. I began to cry because I missed her so much. Then I just sat in silence and watched the cruel world go by hoping that everything would all end soon so I didn't have to feel like this anymore and I heard my mom shout.

"Emily, can you come here please?" She shouted from the kitchen. I sighed and rolled off my bed then made my way downstairs.

"Emily!" She shouted again once I stepped into the kitchen but she had her back to me so she didn't know I was there but yet again I snapped.

"Yes mom! For gods sake just stop shouting and leave me alone" I said as I rolled my eyes.

"Sorry, I didn't think you had heard me" She told me and gave me a sad smile.

"I've made us some dinner, home-made pizza and fries!" She said way too enthusiastically "this is still your favourite right?" my mom asked.

"I guess" I replied and slumped down into one of the dining table chairs. I looked at the table and saw that she had set out 3 sets of knife and forks. One in my seat, one in hers and the third being in my dads.
We started to eat but neither of us spoke, all I could see out the corner of my eye was my mom keep looking at me and the fact she was doing this started to get on my nerves.
"Mom! Stop it!" I shouted and threw my fork onto the table. Immediate regret... but I couldn't help it, I don't know why but she just made me so angry at times and I couldn't control myself. 
When my fork hit the table she flinched at my actions and I could see her eyes welling up. I felt so bad but I just rolled my eyes at her reaction. 
"Stop what?" she asked me sounding confused.

"Staring mom, you keep looking at me and its really annoying me" I told her.

"I'm sorry... I just feel like there is something on your mind and I want to help you" she admitted.

"Well my mind is a pretty messed up place at the minute, it has been for the past 5 years if I'm honest and you never noticed so why do you all of a sudden care? Is it because dad's gone now and you're scared that if something happens to me you will be all alone and then have to set 2 empty seats with knifes and forks?" I spat at her.

"Emmy.." my mom started to speak but I wasn't going to let her. I could see that she had now begun to cry with the harsh comment that I just made but it just added fuel to the fire. I felt the need to hurt someone just like I had been hurt.
"Don't 'Emmy' me that's what Dad used to call me! Just leave me alone, I want to be alone and I don't want anyone to care for me, I have nothing left so what is the point?" I said in a much quieter tone this time because I had realised that I had started opening up.

"Can we please just talk Emily? I think it will be good for you, you seem like you have a lot on your chest" Mom asked.

"No, I'm going out for the night" I said quickly and pushed my chair aggressively out leaving my mom to eat dinner alone while she looked sadly at all of the remaining food she had cooked for me and at mine and my dads empty seats.

I left the house and sat on the curb outside my house and sobbed to myself. Why did I have to ruin every good thing in my life? Why was I such a monster? Why couldn't I just be happy again? That's all I asked for.