Riker's Depression

Chapter 19 : Date night

Chapter 19

Morning...

Paige POV

I woke up before Riker. And I was glad he hadn't had a nightmare.

He was still in my arms, curled into a ball, just how he'd fallen asleep. I took his hand in mine. Now that he was wearing a short sleeved shirt, I could see just how skinny he looked. His arms were skinny and had barely any muscle at all. And I could see his cuts going down his wrists.

I gently ran my fingers over his cuts. It hurt me inside to see just how broken he was. But it didn't look like he'd cut in the past few days. And I was glad. I need to help him get better.

Riker moved a little in his sleep. His head was only inches from mine. So I kissed him.

After about a minute, he started to kiss back, and then he opened his eyes. He started laughing, and covered his face with his hands.

"What?" I asked.

"I've never been woken up like that before."

I pulled at his hands, but he wouldn't uncover his face.

"Riker," I whined.

"No! If you make me blush, you're not allowed to see it!"

I laughed. I sat up, and so did Riker.

"Last night was rough..." Riker mumbled, looking me in the eyes.

"What? Your brother?"

"I was so scared I was going to pass out, and then Ross would hurt me. There were black spots in my vision. And then once we started going down the stairs, I was afraid I'd fall. Or when we got outside, I was scared Ross would follow us."

I sighed. We really need to do something about his brother.

"Well the good thing is that you're ok."

I took his hand in mine, and intertwined our fingers, making Riker smile.

"So how about some breakfast?" I asked.

"How about some peanut butter and toast?"

"Sounds good," I said, leading him upstairs.

Later...

Riker POV

I felt Paige's eyes on me again. I feel like she's looking at my cuts. And I sort of don't like it.

"Why do you keep looking at me!?" I asked, trying to cover my arms with my hands.

"Sorry... I just... feel bad for you... It hurts me inside to see that you did that to yourself."

"Oh..."

I bit my lip.

"Rik, you ok?"

I nodded.

"Where did you put my razor blade?"

Paige opened the kitchen drawer, and took out a bag with my blade in it. She set it down on the counter in front of me.

"Why?" Paige asked.

I sighed.

"I just feel so anxious. And normally, I'd be cutting right now..."

Paige just looked at me.

"I don't want to... But I kind of do want to at the same time..." I mumbled.

"So what are you going to do?"

"Try not to...?"

My answer was more of a question. But I wasn't really sure how long I could go without cutting. I mean...