XIX

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It's been a few days since I last talked to the boys. They haven't answer my calls and when I went over they wouldn't answer. So they're avoiding me.. That's great.. I haven't really hung out with anyone that much. My brother left for some trip with his friends which included Nash so I've been by myself. There's a new magazine out about me and some other girl, and I'm still getting loads of hate.
2/4 5sos boys have girlfriends? We have it confirmed that Ember Sparks is the blue haired girl we have seen the boys with but there is another girl named Amanda Low, a British model, seen hanging out with the boys everyday after Ember was last seen with them. What are your opinions?
-Ugh, Amanda is so pretty!
-Yay! Amanda is so much better than Ember
-Ember < Amanda
-Ember should just go
Wow.. She doesn't get hate, she doesn't get harassed, and she doesn't get ignore. How lucky for her. Here I am getting hate, getting harassed, and getting ignore. I just wish I knew what I did to make them mad at me..
"Ember door!" My mum tells. I quickly smooth my hair down with my hands and walk downstairs. The boys are standing.. With Amanda. 
"Hey Ember.." Ashton's the first to speak.
"Hi." I mumble. I'm literally a potato. I'm wearing black spandex and a oversized Blue Neighborhood shirt, not to mention my now brown hair is insanely crazy.
"Boys you can go upstairs with her if you want. Also Ember, Nash said he will be back in a few days." My mum says breaking the tension.
"I thought he was staying for a few more weeks?" I question.
"He said he wants to be there for you. We both do." She says giving me an apologetic smile.
"Uh you wanna go upstairs?" I ask awkwardly. They all nod and we make our way up to my room. Thank god my mum helped me clean yesterday. Calum takes a seat at my desk and the rest take a seat on my bed. I really don't want this so I just stand by the now closed door. "So..?" I ask. The awkward level is off the scale and I want to crawl back in my bed.
"Why haven't you been texting us back?" Michael starts.
"My mom has it." I lie.
"She said she didn't know why you weren't answering us." Amanda smirks.
"One, I don't want to talk to you. And two, the real question is why wouldn't you answer me." I roll my eyes.
"Well if you wanted to talk to them so bad then why didn't you answer?" She sneers.
"Get out." I say bluntly.
"Excuse me?" She gasps.
"I said get out." I say through gritted teeth. She rolls her eyes and pulls Luke and Michael up.
"Come on guys." She mumbles. The other two get up and my eyes widen.
"Fuck you guys." I say slamming my door behind them. I turn back to my bed and flop down on it.
"I love your hair." I quickly sit up and see Ashton.
"What do you want." I ask in a really annoyed tone.
"I want to talk." He says in a matter of fact tone.
"What is there to talk about Ashton? Obviously this friendship isn't going to work. I did exactly what you wanted me to and I have tried to contact you but you didn't do your part. I can't be the only one try, I won't." I explain.
"Ember.. Please don't.." He says getting closer to me. I'm now standing up, back against the wall.
"Why not Ashton? I can't take it." I say quietly.
"Ember.." He says leaning in closer.
"No Ashton." I start quickly, I push him off me. "I am getting death threats, hate, pictures, my past, getting thrown at me. I needed you four but you weren't there. My past was brought up Ashton. I have no idea how they found out about it but they did, and it hurts." I finish.
"Ember, what about your past? Why are you so upset about your past." He asks totally clueless.
"Sit down.." I mumble. He takes a seat on my bed and I sit on my desk chair. "My dad, he recently died. He was drunk driving and he hit someone. Not just someone but a sixteen year old. He hit her and they both died. After that I went into depression. I self harmed and got bullied and it was awful. People found out about it and start tweeting about it and it's awful." I explain. He pulls me into a hug, and I let him.. I hug back and sob into his chest.
"Hey Em, enjoy the tweets about your past?" I pull away from Ashton and see Nash.
"You did that?" I spit. He smirks and nod.

I quickly wake up in a cold sweat. I sit up and take a deep breath. It was just a dream.. Nash wouldn't talk about my past. Everything is okay..
----
So everything in italics is her dream.
You know about her past now, that's not all though.

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