Trust Issues | e.d

T H I R T E E N

"Do you want to plan it on your own because it seems like you are more into it than I am at the moment" I finally snap at Avery who was going off about Ethan.

"Why is it that I'm more pissed off than you? You should be the one who's pissed off at him, planning what to do to him-"

"I can't!"

"Why not?"

"Because I just fucking can't Avery!" I yell back and she stays quiet as she stares at me.

"You don't want to do it anymore do you?" she puts her hand on her hip and I shake my head.

"Liar! You still care about him-"

"I do still care about him okay? Is that what you wanted to hear? I just can't forget everything that happened, no matter how much I wish I could, I just can't!" I pace around the room as I run my hand through my fading blonde hair.

"I wish I could forget what happened at the party, I wish I could forget about the deal, and everything else but that's not going to happen! Like he said, he's stuck with me, but I'm not and I never will be." There's a moment of silence up until Avery speaks up.

"But do you really want to keep up with all his shit? Is it worth it?"

"I'd rather have him be an asshole to me and have him in my life than for him not to be in my life" I mumble as I massage my temples.

"You have to let go already, this is what's hurting you! He's hurting you and you don't even realize it because you're still in love with him!"

"I can't Avery! I-I don't want to lose him!"

"Oh Malia" she mumbles as she pulls me into a hug.

Ethan's POV

"You are the biggest asshole I've ever met E" Grayson says as he throws the football at me.

I catch it and I throw it back at him, not saying anything.

"You say you want her back yet you treat her like shit. How the fuck does that work dumbass?" he throws it back and I miss the ball.

I groan as I walk towards the ball as Grayson walks to the bench and pulls out his water bottle.

"You're not going to say anything are you?" he asks and I stay quiet.

I was a jackass with her, I know. She doesn't deserve it, but I'm pissed at her.

She left me

That's why I'm so pissed off. She never let me explain anything, she just left.

"And that fucking tattoo? Really Ethan? I bet she thought-"

"Would you just shut up already? I know I'm an asshole with her, you've told me so many times already!" I finally yell back and he rolls his eyes.

"Why do you do it? She's been through hell and you-"

"Because I'm fucking pissed off at her! She left me and I never got to explain myself!" I cut Grayson off and the only thing that's heard is our yells echoing.

"Stop being so fucking selfish Ethan! If you want to talk to her, then just do it! But don't treat her like shit after everything she's been through!"

"And what about me? For 7 months I had to live with the fact that she was gone! I missed her Grayson! No matter what type of stupid shit that comes out of my mouth, nothing is going to hide or change the fact that I still fucking love her!"

No matter what I do, I will never be able to forget about her. She was the first person I've ever had real feelings for.

I used to think it was Mackenzie, but it never was. I kept telling myself that it was her, but I just never got it through my head.