ROSES

❝ wanting ❝

"jungkook?"

"taehyung?" i breathed through the phone and saw smoke coming out of my mouth. it was freezing.

"eoo, wassup? why call?" he spoke sounding a little bit worried and soon i heard shuffling and a woman's voice giggling on the other line. today's not a good timing.

"—kook?" i heard as i was taken out of a trance.

"hmm? sorry, never mind tae.."

"huh? wha—"

"Goodbye, see you tomorrow"

call ended.

i guess i have nowhere to go huh?

i stared at the road in front of me, fixing my scarf as I burry the half of my face on the red scarf. it was rather dark already and considering that winter's at its peak, if i sleep outside i'll die.

die? sounds nice. I wonder if anyone would cry, for real?

how ironic, mister popular guy has nowhere to go. truly, a shocker.

walking futilely and with nowhere else to go, i lifted my head up and stared at the sky. it was full of stars— a rare view, considering that its winter.

a shooting star.

out of habit, i closed my eyes, wishing that this reality was all just a messed up nightmare and once i wake up my dreams is the reality. I'd smile and a contended feeling would fill my veins as all of these are just a figment of my troubled mind.

i remembered mom, when she was alive during this times in the winter we would always cuddle and play until i fell too tired and she'll tuck me to bed.

i miss you mom.

my eyes started to get soaked with the tears and despite the cold weather, my eyes felt warm as the tears that wanted to break free erupted uncontrollably just like a waterfall.

i hung my head low as I continued to walk not knowing where to go.

i heard the ocean waves, i looked at my side and realized that I am walking beside the shores of the sea. the sea was even more beautiful at night.

my feet led me there until they stopped and i flopped down admiring the beautiful scene.

the moon was illuminated in the sea and for a moment i wished i was the moon. unlike me, the moon had a purpose, everytime the sun disappears the moon would serve as the second light in this world.

i want to be the light but i can only give darkness to the people i love.

Closing my eyes once more and letting the soft breeze tickle my skin for a brief moment, I found myself hugging my knees closer to myself and buried my head on my arms.

i want to be loved.

i want to be accepted.

i want someone, it doesn't matter who. i don't care how she or he may look.

just one person is enough – anyone that would love me for what I am and not, not for my face.

tap. tap.

i felt someone touch and poke my arm with little force. it was so gentle that i thought it was just the wind, but as i sat there the poking never stopped, i wiped the tears away before i took a peek.

i almost had a heart attack as i saw the same girl on the sea side. I had to blink twice to make sure that it was her but, seeing that she was wearing the black mask that covered her nose and lips and the all familiar physique, I confirmed that it was her.

the soft breeze blew her hair that was extending down until above her waist, she was sitting right in front of me as we were eye level. i almost freaked out but seeing that her mask had a print of the snout of a bear, i felt the urge to let out a chuckle.

our eyes locked for a moment before she shuffled through her bag and took out a handkerchief and a sticky note before writing on it.

❝mister, here.❝

i read as she give me the note together with the cloth. her handwriting was so clean. i found myself wiping the tears away again as she continued to stare at me.

i don't know why but i feel, comfortable?

i looked straight in her eyes as i was still confused of her presence. i noticed that she had such long eyelashes and her eyes gleamed in the dark even if the only light illuminated around us was from the moon.

i saw that she shuffled in her spot once again as she wrote on the paper of hers.

❝what are you doing here in the middle of the night? ❝

i couldn't help but chuckle as i saw her brows creasing, "i could also ask the same thing to you, you know?"

{sooo. who do you think
was it? sorry if this is so
dramatic and boring. }