Gravitational Pull (Completed)

Book II Chapter 6

It was many and many a year ago,
   In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
   By the name of Annabel Lee;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
   Than to love and be loved by me.
-Annabel Lee by Edgar Allan Poe

Jakarta, Republic of Indonesia

Walang masyadong pinag kaiba sa Pilipinas, maliban sa language ng Indonesia. May similarity din ang hitsura at words ng mga Indonesian.

Wala akong pakialam sa ganda ng tanawin, sarap ng pagkain at mga babae I haven't even had sex since Jenna.

So I continue walking keep thinking things like how is it wrong to keep yourself a virgin for the woman you love?

How is it unromantic to be hopeless romantic?

Why bad boys were romanticized in novels?

Why stereotype good boys of being nerdy, boring and no fun?

I am a good boy but people thought I am naughty that lead to misjudging me being bad.

I am a nerd, but that doesn't mean I know no fun and I am far from boring.

I'm a math genius that makes me a geek. But that doesn't mean I can't play around and poke fun everyone.

And yes! I was a virgin. Jenna was my first and probably the last. I don't freaking care how you fucking think of me.

I'm here to think of a plan, my life plan, on how to live for the rest of my life without her and how to stop being whiney and be happy for her, where ever she might be.

It's been years since I started the quest to find Jenna, but she leaves no traces and she told her parents she's happy and she's okay. She calls them but they don't know where she is.

Corrine and her husband insisted that I stay for a couple more weeks in this resort, they of course paid the hotel in advance so I can keep myself in my suite 24 hours and drink when I'm sober enough to call room service.

The resort serve the liqour in an empty shell this time, that reminded me of the beach we've visit in France. Monty and Chit has regularly recieved a monthly allowance from me and an occassional vacation to US and France, lucky them, they are recieving calls from Jenna atleast once every week, nalaman ko nang nadulas minsan si Chit.

The shell made me claustraphobic, contrasting the inflamed newly tatooed skin of a Northern star from my right arm,  it reminded me of Parisian sea and Jenna. I left the drink and went to the beach.  But it made me miss Polaris even more.

The scene right now reminds me of a melancholic phrase of a lonely poem  she repeatedly memorized for her English class in high school, it is called Annabel Lee by Edgar Allan Poe, digging my toes in the sand while walking felt as pathetic as the narrator.

Medyo napalayo ako ng lakad from the resort,  dinala ako ng mga paa ko sa isang fishing village, kids running and playing around the black sand. Sunset is not visible because of monsoon season, just the heavy waives that violently splashes the empty motor boats in the shore.

Para akong naglalakad sa walang hanggang baybayin. I would say it like a sad and lonely tagalog poet:

"Naglalakad sa walang hanggan." like in the movies with my melancholic state of mind.

Mag aalas sais ng hapon at yung ibang bahay ay traditional na ilaw pa ang gamit, yung iba may kuryente na rin,  pero wala itong ipinag kaiba sa buhay probinsya sa Pilipinas.

Tahimik at nanunuot ang lamig. Nakakalunglot na simoy ng amoy dagat na hangin. Or maybe its just my fucking bookish tagalog from my Filipino class in high school.

Sa di kalayuan, I saw a woman and  my heart beats faster than a race car.

I slowly walked closer to investigate. My insticnt is telling me I am right. The way she moves becomes more familiar each step I made to get closer.

I stop by her side incredibly trembling and awestruck. She is so thin and the ocean made her skin dry and darker, sun spots can be found on her face and neck. But doesn't make her less beautiful.

She wears a long sleeve shirt and a sarong skirt down to her ankles, her hair is covered of  a veil that something similar to what Mother Theresa of Calcutta would wear.

"How have you been Polaris?" I sound rough because of not using my voice on a regular basis.

Napatigil siya at naestatwa sa kinaratayuan niya. I moved around to see her face at halata ang pagkagulat sa mukha niya.

I can't help my tears. And her eyes widened and her smile bigger. I step a little much closer and embraced her.

I cleared my throat this time, just incase she won't hear me. "I missed you so much!"

With great longing, I hugged her fragile body and she hugged me back. I smelled the sea and hand made coconut soap. Never letting her go, and hell! men cry sometimes and shit I cry a literal river.

"Romano" Yun lang ang nasabi niya.