Waiting

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Sitting at my window sill watching the moon. Spacing out when I hear the front door open and close downstairs. I felt tension cease my body.

Footsteps coming up the stairs. Turning, I wait and watch the bedroom door. Relief set in, when I heard the hallway bathroom shower come on. Sighing, I gaze at the night sky once again thinking.

" How did my life become like this. So full of stress, always on edge all because of the shitty person I married."

All because my parents literally pushed me at him. Saying it was for my own good. Where would I find anyone better ? He's older than me by ten years. That's why I think and feel that's why he does the things he do. But it doesn't make it right, I'm tired.

The mental and emotional abuse, it's almost worse than him hitting me. " Fat ass or lazy ", is what hear on a daily basis. He doesn't want me to work which I can't stand. And I did have a job but he talked me into quitting.

I've tried for the past three years to make this marriage work. But I guess he's set in his ways and it's so hard to get through to him.

I remember one time, I dressed up for him thinking that would make him happy. But he told me that I shouldn't be wearing something like that.

" You ain't the size to be wearing that," was his exact words. But I didn't think being a size 12 count as being fat.

If I didn't have my best friend Carrie. She's the only one I think truly cares for me. She always tells me that I need to leave him. I know she's right but I'm afraid of what my parents would say.

Coming out of my thoughts, I heard the bedroom door swing open. Gulping, I prepare myself for what's to come. I wanna be anywhere but here right now.

" You're still up ? Get over here " my husband Daniel said with a bored expression on his face, sitting down on the bed.

I knew where this was going, so walked over to the bed. Grabbing my wrist, pulling me down next to him. He began kissing me which had me wondering.

" Why is he touching me tonight when he hasn't in like a month " causing me to go stiff as board. I really didn't want this when all I felt was disgusted as we had sex.

" When is this gonna be over, " is all I thought waiting for him to finish. He grunted and rolled over, off of me.

Thinking this was my chance to make a dash to the bathroom. But before I could leave the room, he asked.

" Where you going ? " with a satisfied look on his face.

Holding back my puke that had risen in my throat, " I'm going to the bathroom, " I answered.

" I sense an attitude, "he said with a look of irritation.

" No. I just really need to go, " I told him holding my lower abdomen.

" Whatever just go, " he said waving me off then picking up the remote to watch TV.

........................................................

Leaving the room, hurrying to the bathroom. I made it just in time, first turning on the shower. Then leaning over the toilet, throwing up what I had for dinner.

Soon after, I stepped in the shower to cleanse my body. Must've stayed in there for an hour or so. Because when I got to the room to put my pajamas on.

I noticed that he was already fast asleep, snoring. Not really wanting to sleep next to him, I decided to sleep elsewhere.

Going downstairs, walking into the living room. I head over to the couch. Lying down, getting a throw pillow putting under my head. Finally in a comfortable position, I fell into a deep sleep.





















Sorry for the errors 😐😢

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