Self-discovery through Magic {On Hold}

15. first time

The walk is about 30-minutes, which is good because I need time to clear my head. The sky color is dark and mysterious, and it makes me feel indescribable feelings. I keep walking, and thoughts rush at my head with each step I take.

The first time I met the mysterious guy in the bus crash, and how he stuck to me like a bug. A little smile creeps in at the thought.

Random tattoos that grew on my arms with pain. I can still feel the throbbing sensation left behind, now that I'm thinking about it.

The weird flashes and visions. I have been having along with hardcore headaches.

The old lady and her damn myths, but I don't really know, I think I should start believing her.  Her words were just disorganized and crazy for me to believe, saying that I was the most powerful human in the world.

My dad molesting me in my damn sleep, and he had to be there to save. I could feel my insides twisting and turning just by thinking of the humiliation, shame, and embarrassment I felt that night.

The guy in the black coat that I just realize continuously follows me around. Now that I'm thinking about it, he has been following me quite a lot; I have seen some shadow pass by in the corner of my eyes. I've seen him in that old ladies place, even in my visions, and of course, how could I forget the fresh scar he left on me, that probably last an eternity.

The old ladies that was screaming in the last experience I had. 

The whispers. 

The "force".

 The pain.

Then, there's this teenage boy, Ekon, AKA my savior, who is incredibly handsome, but most likely I will never see him again. I love how he had the ability to make me forget my horrible reality for a split second; so I could feel normal, a normal girl and not the freak that I actually am.

The loud music takes me from my thoughts. I stand in front of a large fancy house, there are so many cars that some cars had to park off to another street. Booming music makes its way out of the house. There are people inside of cars talking, kissing, and rocking, some are buzzed and throwing up. Some are dancing wildly and screaming, they look a mess. I feel like I want to vomit, I don't know why I convince myself to come here. I start to feel sweat dripping from my forehead, I take small breaths and push myself forward.

I step into the wide open, afraid of what I might find since I never been to a party. Man, I did not expect this.

I look around everything is in chaos; people swinging on top of a chandelier, the air smells heavily of alcohol and vomit; people are naked on the couch on top of each other, trash all over the place.

 I feel my anxiety kick and it kicked hard. I feel like I'm about to have a panic attack. My breathing is becoming uneven. People keeps bumping into me, it's crowded, I feel like I am about to suffocate. I look around in panic looking for a way of escape, the door is blocked with people. The smell of puke, alcohol, and smoke are inflating my lungs, making it harder to breath. My panic is rising until my eyes lands on a pretty girl with long blonde hair, beautiful smile, and blue eyes.

"Cassandra!" I yell,  but not as loud as I wanted it to be.

I feel like I am about to pass out, I called out again. Before the feeling of faint got too strong her eyes connect with mine. She jumps in excitement and pushes through the crowd to try and get to me.

I stand there trying to control my breathing as I waited for her to reach me. She's taking a rather long time. Meanwhile, I feel like my breathing is diminishing by seconds. I keep turning in circles to keep myself busy. I keep turning in circles looking for a distraction to keep my mind focus, so I won't lose my mind, and I definitely found one.

 Kiera the most "loyal" girlfriend in school is in the far corner sticking her tongue down another guy's throat. Her back is arching. She stops kissing him to let out what I'm guessing are moans. She is moving up and down.

No, they aren't. I mean it's physically impossible to have a dick up a vagina, while standing up and pants still on. 

As I'm trying to decipher what's going on, I see his hands inside her pants.

Now that make a little more sense. What the fuc k! Why am I so focused on what a bitch is doing? Oh, excuse my language, I meant what a hoe is doing.

I look their way one more time, and to my shock, the guy who's fingering her is Samuel's "best friend". A small gasp escapes my lips. Samuel is going to be crushed. Okay, he might not be the nicest guy, mostly towards me, but he treats Kiera like a damn queen; and she as hell don't deserve to get that kind of special treatment. I'm about to go back to spinning around because my mind is about to lose interest in the situation, and my anxiety would pick up again. I see a girl recording everything that they're doing in the corner, and a smile creeps upon my lips. Just imagining how much damage that video can do to both of their lives. I feel a soft hand tapping my shoulder, I turn around to find my best friend standing behind me with a wide smile on her face. I couldn't help but to throw my hands around her, and give her the world's best hug.

"What the hell Nala, when did you become such a party animal?" she says with that big smile of hers.

"What? I did not become a party animal, and never will be one either."

"If you're not a party animal, then, why come to a party as wild as this one?" she says with a triumphant look on her face and hands on her hips.

"I got this email saying I was invited, and I didn't want to go deal with my demon, soul-sucking parents,"

I can tell she had a couple of drinks by the way she's swaying side to side.

"Well don't just stand there, join the damn party,"

She drags me behind her pushing people in the crowd and places me in the center of the dance floor.