Book Page 143 (Suga X Jiae)

Chapter 36

The atmosphere was tensed up and it felt like a long ride eventhought only 5 minutes has passed.

There are a lot of questions in my mind to be asked but just don't know where to start neither how to start.

Yoongi just drove quietly, his focus on the road. The radio was playing some instrumental music to killed the silence.

I took rather a lot of secret glances of him, but I 'm not surprised if he noticed.

His hair was styled a little bit. A button down white t-shirt covered his lean body, paired with a pair of rather tight denim jeans. Also a black jacket tied up around his hips.

Someone looks rather styled up tonight.

"Do you wanna talk about anything?" I finally breathed out the air that I didn't noticed I was holding in. Finally, some talking.

"There are a lot to talk about" I boldly said. Maybe sounded kinda angry also. I'm not mad just..... frustrated maybe?

"Ladies first." He asked me to start first.

"When did you get your car license?" I asked eyes also on the road. I still didn't dare to make eye contact with him.

He chuckled a little before saying. "We hadn't hang up much to know the other's where abouts, right?"

True. I bitted my lip thinking another topic.

"Where are we going?" The main question was asked.

"Diner" he answered short but now kinda cheerfully.

"What about Grandpa?" My only concern was him.

He paused for a while and I took another quick glance at him.

He noticed and quickly blurted. "It was his idea in the first place, when suddenly..." he paused again before continuing.

"He said we should better make up all our mistakes first."

Like seriously Grandpa, i'm confused to hate you or love you.

"And we left him, because he asked too?" I sounded a little physco.

"We have to fix what's wrong with us." His voice was in a mono tone as he said that.

"Then, what is wrong with us?" Somehow I felt all my frustrations that I've kept will finally be let out tonight and so does he.

"Look, I know it was my fault that day, but you had to know why I did that." My mind flashbacked on the day he boldly announced our relationship.

Ever since then, people didn't treat me the same anymore, I was not invisible to them, but they despised me instead.

They even hated me, when they saw I was always stucked up with Mark, when it was supposed to be the other way around.

But somehow, with the whole cold treatment I was given, Mark's presence wasn't a bother.

"Then, why did you do that?" I asked as my grip on my purse tightened.

"You really don't know, do you?" His voice was suddenly deep, it had made me afraid again adding the situation we were in right now.

But noneless my frustrations didn't care. "Why? Did I miss something?"

Abruptly the car stop at the side way of the road. My breathing went unstabled as I griped hold of the car seat. My body was stumbled forwards but was holded back by the seat belt.

The importance of wearing these kind of things.

Before I could say anything, he cut me first. "You were leaving me, can't you see why I did that?" His voice was stern and he turned his face finally looking at me.

All the words that I wanted to say was somehow stucked in my throat. I think I should let him explain himself first. Just for the safety for both of us.

When he knew that I still don't have anything to say, he continued. "Yeah, I know I was a fool, to do that, but I thought that we should be ready to have an open relationship, why are we hiding that we like each other? Why are we so afraid of other's opinion when it is our life?"

I turn to face him and make eye contact with him. He looks kinda..... sad.

"It is not that i'm afraid, i'm just not ready, we are both different kind of people Yoongi, and you know that" It came out like a whisper and sounded very careful.

"So, you going around with Mark, isn't a bother?" His tone was suddenly full of jealousness.

"Are you jealous?" I asked unbelieveable.

"I'm your boyfriend, I should be jealous" he said sternly.

"If you are my boyfriend, you would understand my choice" Now it was my time to let out all my frustrations. He leaned backwards while eyeing me judgingly.

"What choice? The choice of leaving me?" He raised an eyebrow.

"You should understand why i'm leaving you because of my duty as their only daughter to take care of my parents." He looks a little taken a back and I still continued.

"I think you would choose the same if you were in my shoes, between Grandpa and me, who would you choose? If you are saying me, you are lying to yourself Yoongi. Eventhough we are different, but there are things that we are related too that we can't just run off like that"

A fact that I still didn't believe is that we are finally talking to each other, eventhought not a good one.

"Do you don't belive in us?" He asked now his voice soumded pityful.

"It's not that I don't believe in us, it is just not the right time and situation. I'm glad that I have met you, you brought me to a whole new life, even if it just a short period of time, it's just that I somehow believe that these kind of things,........ wouldn't last forever" I spoke softly those last words now avoiding eye contact with him.

Tears are threatening to break out.

He looks speechless, and the atmosphere was quiet again. Yoongi started back the car engine and continued driving.

Will it end just like this?

................

"You're order will arrive in just a few minutes." The waiter said before leaving us alone at the dining table.

I've never eaten at these kind of grand places. It's just my principe that food is all the same.

We hadn't exchanged a word from the car but Yoongi's eyes never left mine. Feeling uncomfartable, I pretended being busy with my phone.

"Who are you texting, at these time of night?" He finally said.

"Nothing important" My focus was still glued on the picture of my screen.

A picture of us sleeping in the library.

Mijoo sneekily took it, when she saw both of us asleep ln each other's shoulder.

He let out a heavy sighed. "Do you want to do anything before tomorrow?"

"What do you have in plan?" I asked like we were having a normal talk.

"I just wanted this night to last forever" and I also guess he also wants to forget all our fights and mistakes.

We both just wanted to have each other company before tomorrow comes, forgetting what was in the past and what is ahead of us.

Just for a night's dream, before it becomes a memory.