Someday.

31

***Mature Content***

Peyton's POV

She started waking up when she noticed I was running my fingers over her arm she tried to move her sleeve down. I stopped her. Sabrina's mom was at the door. "Sabrina honey, can I talk to you?" I lifted my arm and she sat up. "I'll go make coffee." I said. She grabbed my hand. "Talk to your mom." I said. I walked out if the room and closed the door. I walked downstairs and noticed her dad at the table. "I'm sorry sir." I said. He looked up at me. "That's the hardest thing to hear." He said. He motioned to the chair. I sat down. "What does her arm look like?" He asked. I exhaled. "She has scars. But she has... she has three ne..new ones." I managed to get out. He hung his head. "Can you promise me something sir?" I asked. "What?"
"Promise me she will stay away from therapists." He nodded. "I promise." I nodded. I got up and made some coffee. "I'm bringing some upstairs but would you like some?" I asked. He shook his head. "Thanks though." I nodded and carried the three cups upstairs. I knocked on the door carefully. "Come on in." Her mom said. I opened the door. I walked in and handed them their cups. "May I?" I asked. Her mom nodded. I sat down on the bed and Sabrina immediately moved to me. "So, she told me about yesterday afternoon." She said. I nodded. "I want to send her to therapy. Just for now." I looked down at her. She was scratching her arm. I moved my arm and stopped her. "I just want her happy." I said. She nodded. "We all do at this point." She stood up. "Thank you for taking it from her." She told me. I nodded and she left. I put my cup in the nightstand and she handed me hers. I laid down and she cuddled up next to me. I moved her on top of me and held her there. "This is over. Alright? It's done. Everything bad is done." I said. She didn't say anything. She put her hands out and crawled off the bed and into closet. She grabbed a pair of sport shorts and a hoodie and she took off her skirt and shirt. I looked away and stared out the window. I felt her weight on the bed and she cuddled up next to me. I wrapped an arm around her and went up he sleeve, rubbing my fingers over her arm, hoping it would magically go away. We laid there in silence, and I stared at her making sure that nothing else would happen to her. "Breakfast!" Her mom yelled. Sabrina didn't move.

"I'm not going to let you sit here with your thoughts." I said. I tapped her arm and she sat up. So did I. "It's over okay. I want you back." I said. I looked at her and she stared at me. "I failed. Okay I admit. I failed to keep you happy. And honestly it's breaking me into millions of pieces. So we're stuck right now, things aren't happy. You're right in front of me and I miss you. Talk to me." I pleaded. She sighed. "I just don't know what to do. I can't face them after last night. Especially my dad. Yesterday wasn't supposed to happen like that. You're parents weren't supposed to come home, we would go back and have dinner and then we would make it to midnight and kiss and then we would go to bed and then wake up and be happy." I smiled. "We can still be happy." She looked at me. She leaned forward and kissed me. "I miss that." I said. She got on her hands and kissed me again. I pulled close and sat her on my lap. "I missed this so much." I whispered. She smiled. I pecked her lips. "Doesn't that make you happier?" I asked. "I wouldn't mind if we kept going." She said. I smiled and kissed her again. I sat up and laid her on the bed. I straddled her and put my hands under her sweater and pressed against the bed. I leaned down close to her and she wrapped her arms around my neck. I flipped us over she took my sweater off leaving me in a tee shirt. I ran my arms up her sweater and slid it off. Her arm was all red, all scarred. All... destroyed. It hurt. It physically hurt me to look at. It was just scars yesterday. Now there was dry blood along her arm. My body shut down, I became so empty. I took her arm in my hands. I stared at her arm and could see each individual scar. I felt a tear fall down from my eye. I kissed her arm lightly and started crying. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." I said. "I'm sorry." I cried. "I'm sorry I failed." I sat up and she moved onto my lap. My tears fell onto her arm. "I'm sorry I did this to you." I opened my eyes and saw a figure in the doorway out if the corner of my eye. I hugged Sabrina tight. "I'm sorry I left. I'm sorry I yelled. I'm sorry I got mad. I'm sorry I abandoned you." I cried. "Don't." She whispered. "Don't say that. Don't cry. " I took her hand and squeezed it. She rubbed her thumb along my hand. "Stop. Look at me." I ran my hand over my eyes and through my hair. I looked over at her. "Thank you." She said. "Thank you." I smiled weakly. "Thank you for coming home. Thank you for making me feel comfortable. Thank you for making me feel safe." I exhaled and let her go. She stood up and grabbed her clothes from yesterday and cleaned them up. I watched as she cleaned her room. She looked so beautiful. "You're beautiful." I said. She turned around and faced me. "Inside and out." She turned back around and opened a drawer. She took something out and was using it on her arm. "Wha-" She turned around and showed me the concealer in her hand. I sighed and stood up. I walked over and took it from her. I closed it and put it back in the drawer. "No." I said. "Peyton.." She reached for the drawer but I stopped her. I opened it and grabbed the container and picked my finger. I looked inside and saw another blade. I put the container back in and walked out of the room. I can't. I can't do this. This is too much. I rested against the wall in the hallway. Sarah walked up to me. "It's going to be fine." She said. I shook my head. "How can you even think that?" I asked. "Because. I have hope. It wasn't a good year for her." I nodded. And breathed in and out. I rested my hands on my knees. "It's just too much. And all of it is my fault. If we just stayed friends then she would be ha-"
"Trust me when I say that would make it worse." I saw her feet beside me. I looked up to see her without a shirt still. She held out her hand. I opened my hand and she dropped the blade in. I sighed and looked at it. "I'm going to go and shower." I said. I stood up and walked into the bathroom. I closed the door and turned on the shower. I undressed and hopped in.

It gets better right? It has to. It will. It's just a rough patch.

I got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my waist. I smelled like her. I towel dried my hair and walked back to her bedroom. She was in bed reading. I picked up my bag and put it on her bed. She looked up. I opened it up and grabbed new clothes and walked to the bathroom to change.

I saw the blade in the counter and put it in my pocket. I walked down stairs and put the towel in the washing machine and went back up. I grabbed my bag and walked downstairs. "You headed home?" Her dad asked walking up to me. "Unless I'm asked to I was going to drop my bag off here and head upstairs." He nodded and looked up. Sabrina was standing at the foot of the stairs. She put a shirt on but it was short sleeve. She was scratching her arm. "Don't do that." I said. She looked down at her arm and stopped. "Sorry." She said. Her dad looked sad. He walked up the stairs and wrapped his arms around her. "I'm sorry princess. I just wish you would've told us." He said. She nodded her head and he walked off down the hallway. "You know I like hugs too." I said. She looked at me. "You also like me without a shirt on and look where that got us." She said. I opened my arms and she walked downstairs and hugged me. "I love you." I said. "I know you do."