🌀LETTER TO CALEB (#2)🌀

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And being here without you, its like waking up to only half a blue sky , kinda there but not quite, I am walking round with just one shoe. I am half a heart without you -One direction: half a heart.

Dear Caleb,

U know there comes a point in your life where you hope that you can go back to a certain part in your life to undo something that could have changed many life.

I never regretted anything in my life before. I always had this believe that whatever happens it happens for reason. That reason is some kind of lesson for me so that I won't do that again. Whatever happened to me , whatever I went through was  a some way kind of taught me to survive. Until you came.

And now I am doubting my own philosophy about not regretting. I want to take back every word I said about life's teaching. Fuck life, Fuck my philosophy, Fuck everything.

I just want to you. I want to go the time I saw you. I want to edit everything that happened. I would have talked to you that night. I would have see you from near. But that didn't happened. Nor I can change what happened. I can only regret.

Its never surprise me to wonder the what ifs.

What if I would have crossed the lake and had gone to your side.?

What if I had the courage to talked to you ?

What if I had not slept.?

What if u had noticed me ?

What if I know you?

What if you knew me ?

What if I will never see you in my life again. ?

Why am I so obsessed with you ? Why can't I realise that you were as good as a dream.? Why is everything in my life is right yet so wrong ?

Why I am having this strong vibe that I won't be needing the what if and whys anymore.

Look what have you done to me.

No matter how hard it seems I will find you one day. So Mr Caleb I am not giving up on you. I will never.

Until then you wait for me.

I have to go now. Its a school night
I got to sleep. Today was a tiring day. And lots of things happen. I met a guy by the way. No you don't worry I am always your. And that sounded creepy but yeah this guy is something I have to figure out.

So i am kind of in a mission to solve him. You know how I am. So I will do everything to put his jig saw puzzle together. He has something inside him that is attracting me. So.

Until next time.
Bye
Sienna

❇❇❇


Leslie Grayson to the side

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