reasons you should totally not love me

7:11 AM 11/28 its raining

It's raining and today my friends and I are dressing up goth (ironically) so I'm wearing like an inch of black eye shadow and eyeliner it's hilarious

Also I'm getting a bit obsessed with Grace VanderWaal because:
A) HER LAST NAME IS GERMAN DEUTSCHLAND UBER ALLES
2) she sounds like mini tyjo it's adorable
Lastly) she's literally what I aspire to be except my voice is always soft and squeaky

/////

I dyed my hair last night and it's supposed to be purple but it just made my hair look like a watered down grape color, I'll do another coat tonight.

I'M REALLY LONELY AND I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO GIVE ME HUGS AND MEMES AND NOSE BOOPS AND LIL FRIENDSHIP KISSES AND I MISS MARIA

Maria is my German friend who lives in Indiana she's the cutest thing ever. Her phone got taken away recently or broken or something, so obviously I hAVe to write her like five letters immediately. I'm going to mail it today.
Maria and I went to camp together and were known as the lesbian couple even though she has a boyfriend.
I first approached her two summers ago; we were in a snack line and I was lonely and she looked emo (somehow pulling it off despite our uniforms) so I was like, 'screw it, her standards are probably low', so I walked up to her and said

"Hey what music do you like, do you wanna roll down the hill with me?"

anD LOOKING BACK ON IT NOW I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD HAVE DONE IT IN A LESS CREEPY WAY ALTHOUGH SHE LATER ASSURED ME SHE THOUGHT I WAS ADORABLE

Anyway, she hesitated for a moment and then was like 'sure' and we just rolled down the hill together without saying a word

We later walked to the cabins and talked about anime and music and family stuff buT I DIDNT KNOW HER NAME AND I COULDNT ASK IN THE MIDDLE OF A CONVERSATION BECAUSE IT'D BE AWKWARD Y'KNOW

So I called her anime girl for about a week until I found out her name

We became best friends and ironic/un-ironic lovers at the same time and throughout the school year she texted me really sweet things whenever i was doing bad or one of my mental problems were planning to take over she was always there and just thinking about her makes me want to cry but then I'll smudge my goth makeup ugh

I love her so much (no homo tho lmao)

I'm at school bye