reasons you should totally not love me

nobody asked for me 2/14

i see everyone tagging each other for these 'share ten things about yourself' things but i have no friends here and im great at over sharing so here we go;;;;

i- ive always really loved the concept of there being multiple universes and each one is created because we go left instead of right or something its just so cool

ii- i see a therapist every monday for forty five minutes and she has a soft voice but a really loud laugh

iii- i develop crushes on almost anyone i meet online or in real life but im usually too afraid to talk to them because im self conscious about my voice
(hush its weird but idk my voice is just pretty deep when im anxious and im v feminine)

iv- if i touch something with one hand i always have to touch it with the other or else i'll have a fit

its really awful because i'll walk through a doorway and my right shoulder will bump against it
i'll have to stop and turn around and bump it with my left shoulder then continue just on a daily basis

UPDATE::::i talked to my therapist about it today she said small forms of ocd are common in people who have anxiety so that's a thing i guess

v- i was born in switzerland b/c my parents were on vacation there when i was born but after a year or so we moved to houston

vi- my body is the perfect weight for a person my height and everything is proportional and i love it so much

however my father still calls me chubby on occasions

vii- if i got the chance to be completely heterosexual i would grab it in a second

viii- i have freckles on my stomach and chest thats why i cant wear bikinis

ix- i cant cook anything except arabic recipes that my mom taught me (she grew up in saudi arabia) and every sunday we go shopping in a really nice asian/african grocery store together

x- whenever im sad i'll lay on the linoleum floor of my bathroom and pull out threads of my shag carpet until i feel better

xi- i prefer plums over peaches

xii- i use coupons at thrift shops

xiii- i taught myself piano and ukulele and next year it's going to be violin and cello

xiv- in my free time i listen to old comedy shows on tape then steal the jokes to tell them to people the next day

xv- i really hate emojis with all my soul

xvi- i say hecking instead of the f word because im not a sinner ;^(((

xvii- i dont actually know how long im gonna keep this going i just have a lot of feelings

xviii- my favorite word is sonder, a word that means the realization that every passerby and every stranger you pass has a life as complex as your own and has feelings and love and anger like you it makes me really happy

xix- i cant afford new shoes so i have two pairs of the same men's black high top converse because it was a buy one get one two years ago. when i grow out of these im taking my dad's white high tops until i grow into them

xx- i have a freckle on my chin and someday i want to find someone to kiss it and make me smile

xxi- i have a passion for audrey hepburn

xxii- i would rather die than drink grape flavoured anything

xxiii- i try desperately to be aesthetic with roman numerals and lowercase letters its all a façade art is dead nothing is real please help me

xxiv- whenever i cant talk to my therapist i usually talk to my house plants to make me feel better
that's it you can leave now

mood: james dean + john wayne