reasons you should totally not love me

11:53 not again edie 4/22

haha o boi here we go with the emotions again

why,am i still,thinking about my ex,,after almost,a year after she broke up with me,,,

i just keep thinking like 'what if i just real quick drove up to her town ( which is an hour or so away from my town ) and rang her doorbell and said "hey im edie remember me you broke my heart" or "fuck you" or "i love you" or "hey do you wanna hang out or go see a movie" or "i have written five poems and a song for you so youd better sit down and listen to them"' but i know i cant because shes probably already forgotten me so im stuck here just thinking and bitching about things i cant control and hailey sits at home with her new lover laughing back at the short autumn and summer months where my heart was purely hers god why did she

i love her no longer yet she still lingers in my thoughts and if i could just have five minutes of closure with her i swear i would be okay again

but now i just sit on a piano bench opening my veins and pouring my heart out over my past life and she is none the wiser about it

i want to call her and i keep telling myself 'okay what ur gonna do is,call her tomorrow and just be like lol sorry wrong numbr how u doin tho' but i never do

i really hate weekends because im away from my friends and im alone and im allowed to think about thi gs i dont want to

the only reason i keep sayibg haha i wish i had a lover,,is bevause i keep rememvering what i felt when i was with her but only the good feelings and im obsessed with it i need more i need

she was a bitch to me all the time never cared about my issues lied to me pushed me away then pulled me back in and i was so weak i let her do this to me and i realize that it was her fault not mine but i still feel so awful about it

i keep saying im done but when will i really be