CHAPTER XIX

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SYDNEY PARKER

I nervously tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and looked at Nate consciously, he was staring at me, quietly. His face betraying not a single emotion. I sighed and asked him, "From where do I start?"

He replied soothingly, "From the beginning, I guess."

"Well here goes for nothing," I muttered under my  breath and said sadly, "My dad, did this to me," Stopping instantaneously and then looking at Nate, trying to gauge a reaction through his eyes. I pleaded, "Say something!"

He looked at me, as if out of daze and said, "You should have told me sooner,"

I sighed and said, "I couldn't Nate," 

He started at me for a few seconds and said quietly, "Couldn't or didn't want to?" 

I stared into his eyes and replied, "I didn't want to, how could you even think that I will give up on my dad like that!"

"The dad, who abused you?"

"No, the dad who looked at me his little daughter, the dad who was willing to sacrifice anything for his daughter," Tears touched my eyes as I said, "the dad who loved his daughter for once."

He looked at me, emotionless. I sighed and continued when I knew he wouldn't say anything, "It started when my mother died of cancer. He was devastated and ruined, his whole life was. He came home, late at nights, stared to a picture of my mom, expressionless and wouldn't even speak anything when I tried communicating with him. There was no one to cook food or buy grocery or anything," Knotting my hands I whispered, "Then one day, he met this horrible woman, Victoria Mane. That's when it all started." A single tear rolled on my cheeks, when Nate enclosed my hand in his, the hot chocolate still clutching in my hand. I let the warmth of his hand spread through me, took a deep breath and continued,

"She was sweet to me in front of my dad, but she hit me pretty badly when he wasn't at home. She got him into some drugs and since then he used to come late at night, drunk and completely wasted, with a new girl attached to his arm every time. I used to go bed without eating anything or my father kicked me out. He smoked weed and beer bottles were thrown all over the house, their stench came from everywhere," I gulped whatever was left in the glass and closed my eyes, to control my uneven breathing, 

"That's why I stayed at Lila's house at most of the nights or got drunk and crashed at your house. Anything to keep me away from my house. Yet, I couldn't tell the police. Each time I tried, my mother's face flashed before my eyes and her soft voice whispered 'he may be angry but her will take care of you,' One day I confronted him for all his change in behaviour, he was shooing a girl he had got home last night, she laughed at us both and strutted away, that's when the beating started,"

"He said that I had destroyed his so called reputation and some shit and then he smacked me. I think I saw regret flash in his eyes when he did that, but it was transitory, it was gone before I could affirm it. Then the beatings started getting worse and worst. But I had to endure it," Flashes of my horrible past flashed through my mind and tears came to my eyes, Nate wiped them quietly, the pads of thumbs still caressing my cheeks, I continued, distraught, "It's strange, you really want to do something, knowing it will make you free from the torture but yet you don't if it's a loved one," 

Nate still stared at me quietly, waiting for me to continue.

"Then he ran into a debt to a goon, so we had to leave and then before I knew I was living in the slums of California,"

"How did he get the money?" Nate asked me gently.

I whispered, "he was going to sell me." Nate's hands wrapped securely around mine and his jaw clenched, it was obvious he was fuming from inside. But I had to end this so I started again, "That was when I ran away, I couldn't believe he would do something like that. I thought that the beating would stop soon, but ..."

My father's smiling face appeared in mind, it was the final straw. I broke down and cried and wailed. Loud uncontrollable sobs escaping my mouth, as I lay in his arms. 

I don't know till when I cried in his arms, and he didn't say anything, just letting it all out. 

I just knew this one thing, he was the one keeping me sane.

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I AM TIRED SO JUST GONNA SAY THANK YOU.

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