Resolution

48. Glory and Gore

"And the cry goes out, they lose their minds for us and how it plays out."

Song: Glory and Gore

Artist: Lorde

 “Harry!”

My voice sounded hysterical as I shouted for him over and over, my hands clawing helplessly as I tried to shove my way through the crowd.  Panic flooded through my body making my hands shake and my vision blurry.  My ears were ringing with all the noise around me and the fear radiating through my veins.  All around me, people shouted and cheered, their jeering laughter mixing with the overwhelming sound of the music that still pounded through the hallway enough to suffocate me.

I could hardly control my limbs as I tried to push through everyone.  They were all oblivious to my struggle as they tightened around me, further cutting me off from Harry. 

I had seen the gasping breaths he took and the painful looking way his chest had contracted.  I had seen the dark red hue to his face, different from that of mere exertion.  He was, without a doubt, having an asthma attack, and I couldn’t get to him.  He was stuck outside, alone and unable to breathe, while I was trapped in here in the mass of bodies.  My entire body shook with fear and desperation as I threw my elbow in to whoever was blocking me.

“Move!” I shouted angrily, tears staining my cheeks as I gasped for air.  “Fucking move!”

I shoved my hands into someone’s back and received a shove back, but I didn’t care.  All that mattered to me was getting to Harry before something terrible happened to him.  My arms pushed between two people and I managed to wedge my body through them as another strangled cry of Harry’s name left my lips.  I was nearing absolute hysteria now, and I could hardly control my limbs much less push my way through the bodies.

I let out a strained scream of frustration, ignoring the judgmental and confused looks I received.  I probably looked insane, sobbing heavily, shouting Harry’s name, and desperately trying to claw my way through the crowd, but it didn’t matter. 

“Ha-harry,” I called again even though I knew it was pointless.  He couldn’t hear me from here, but I couldn’t stop shouting his name. 

“Get the fuck out of her way!” someone shouted from behind me, the deep tone much more commanding than my pitifully weak one.  People turned their heads to see who had shouted it before listening to the command and parting enough for me to run through.  I felt a hand on my back push me forward and I whipped around to see who it belonged to.  Jay’s concerned face flashed before my eyes, but that was all I saw before I turned forward again and sprinted through the gaps. 

My steps were clumsy and shaky but I managed to stay on my feet.  The door at the end of the hall wove in front of my eyes, the tears and the panic making my vision unstable, but it was all I could see as I ran.  I was just about to shove through the door when a bouncer appeared out of nowhere, stopping me in my tracks and gripping me tightly.

“Can’t use that door, miss,” he said sternly, pushing me lightly backward.  My fists balled up immediately and pounded into his chest as hard as I could.

“Fucking let me go! He’s going to die,” I shouted dramatically, shoving as hard as I could on him.  He looked surprised and worn out at my aggressive thrashing, and slightly confused by my statement.

“No-“

“Fucking let go of me!” I screeched.  My voice lacked even a drop of sanity now, and I was shaking so hard on top of my thrashing that it was nearly impossible for him to hang on to me any more.  I was sick of people getting in my way and stopping me from getting to Harry, and I was about to crumble into a thousand pieces.  My arms continued their unrelenting attack on the bouncer as I struggled against him.