Resolution

70. Are You Ready

"So you think you know how the story goes?"

Song: Are You Ready

Artist: Three Days Grace 

Lights flashed all around me, their colors swirling together in a melted blend that insisted on making my mind swim.  I sat in shock on the back of the ambulance, staring blankly off into the distance while a medic waved a bright light in front of my eyes.  His lips were moving but I couldn’t hear what he said over the noise of the people rustling around and the screaming in my head.  He leaned in close, observing my pupils while he moved the light back and forth across my line of vision.  I ignored him, too emotionally drained and shocked to absorb anything else. 

Movement out of the corner of my eye caught my attention, causing my head to turn in that direction.  My eyes felt glazed over and my neck felt stiff as I did so.  Two men in black jackets, one of them carrying a large black bag, were moving across the sad excuse for a lawn toward the spot.   I couldn’t bring myself to even think of the words Ben or body.  

Surely they were just going to pick up some trash.  Surely he was just resting in the grass, catching his breath after the fight with Harry, exhausted but still breathing.  Surely he’d get up any minute, brush off his shirt, and shoot me a scathing look.  The fact that the men were crouching next to him now and unrolling the bag was pure coincidence.  It didn’t mean what I knew it did.

Ben was dead.

And Harry had killed him.

It was too surreal to absorb.  I watched with blank numbness, my features lacking any expression besides pure shock, as they lifted his body only to lower it in the bag.  I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the gruesome sight.  Blood so vibrantly red burned into my eyes that I almost had to look away, but I couldn’t.  His face was blocked by someone looking on, the camera in their hands now full of pictures to use for evidence.  The man shifted suddenly, turning to speak to someone else and clearing my view.

His ghostly white face shone through the darkness, the skin pale and waxy from the lack of blood flowing through his veins.  Bile rose involuntarily in the back of my throat at the sight.  I could feel my eyes widening and the blood draining from my face, but still I couldn’t look away.  My gaze stayed trained on his ashen face until he was completely lowered into the bag.  One of the men in the black jackets leaned forward to zip the bag, cutting off my view.  I could feel the way my eyelids fluttered as the world swam in front of me suddenly as if I might faint.

“Halle!” the medic said, calling my attention back to him.  I felt weak.  Physically, mentally, and emotionally weak.  I turned back toward him and his face swooped in front of me, my eyes nearly closing as I started to drift to the side.  His hand landed on my shoulders, steadying me and propping me up against the side of the ambulance.

“Hank!” he called, getting the attention of a second medic standing a few feet away.  His face joined the second one that was currently swimming in front of my eyes. 

“She’s in shock.  We should take her to the hospital,” he muttered while pressing two fingers to the inside of my wrist to check my pulse. 

“No!” I shouted suddenly, snapping out of it.  “No, I need to go to the police station!”

“I don’t think so, hun, you’ve had a traumatic night and-“

“No! I need to get to Harry,” I said frantically.  I was relieved that my vision seemed to be clearing a bit now and my head didn’t feel like it was filled with water anymore.  My arms lifted from my sides, feeling like they weighed a thousand pounds as they shoved weakly at the man holding me.