Living without you is harder than you think

The Ugly Truth

I sighed when I got to my room. I could hear the guy asking Jongin about why I was crying and what happened. I can only assume he told the because not long after that knocks were on the other side of my door. I only ignored it and put on my head phones Listening to "Hold me tight" from BTS. I envy everyone who as long lasting relationship and people who could recover from it all in a snap of a finger. 

I laid down on my bed wishing and hoping this was a cruel joke on me or a terrible dream. I closed my eye and tried to fall into another deep painless sleep but the thing about painless dreams is it only happens when you aren't in pain yourself. I squeezed my eyes tightly and picked up my phone. 

Tao....

I pulled up his number and called him. Not even two rings in he picked up the phone. "Hello?"

"Hey. Whats up?" I felt like this was a bad idea but I cant deal with this pain. "I,um, Can I see you?" I asked half regretting this. "Y-Yeah defiantly. When?" He asked. You could hear the excitement in his voice. "Now."

We met up at the park close to his huse. I don't think i can be in my house right now. Not with all of his family and especially in the bed we had slept together in or even did...that... in. I kept having a constant rewind in my head on how we did all of that. I was so embarrassed that i gave myself to him. I Shook my head. "What is wrong?" He asked me. I looked at him and shook my head. Should i sleep with him in spite of Sehun? No, i cant it doesn't feel right. I only want him. "Nothing." I replied. He gave me a look. "What?" i asked. "You are lying and you know it. Is it with Sehun?" He asked carefully like i would break into a million pieces just asking. I nodded to answer his question though. "Is he leaving you?" He asked once more. I hesitated and then nodded once more. He shook his head and looked at his hands. "Are you gonna be okay though?" I don't know. I would like to think i will be. I nodded. He sighed. "We will go shopping. Stay at my house tonight and i will take you shopping we will buy you new clothes and buy you make up,get your hair done and buy you new shoes. You need to make him realize you don't need him. When he is around smile and laugh and just be happy. I guarantee he will regret leaving you." Tao said excitedly. 

" Tao that sounds amazing in every way shape and form but i have no money at the moment i gave it to the boys so they can get food. I don't even feel happy enough to even think about that either." I honestly want to and i know i can but i have been strong for so long that i just don't even want to try anymore. Tao took my hands and held them up to his chest. "Let me do this for you. Sehun screwed up and he needs to learn from that. Help make him a better person. Give him a chance to have a learning experience. Its time to work out the thing we have been complaining about." I sighed and then nodded. He is right. 

                                                                                  ........

I got up and my head was throbbing. Crying your self to sleep isn't the best way to go to sleep. I went to take a shower and came out new clothes were siting at the end of the bed i slept on. Tao is so sweet, i just wish he would have done better at being that way. I got dressed in the black skirt with a pastel pink long sleeve with knee high socks and oil black boots. I walked into the kitchen were Tao was drinking coffee and reading stuff on his phone. "Good morning Tao." I said getting myself coffee. He smiled and replied with the same. I drank my coffee and realized i left my phone at my house. I hit my head with my palm lightly. "What happened?" I turned to Tao and laughed a little. "I accidentally left my phone at my house." He shook his head and smiled. You don't need it anyways. Lets go before we don't have time left." He got up taking the last gulp of his coffee and walked out of the kitchen i hurried and drank four sips of my hot coffee and then followed him out. We got into his car and headed to the largest mall in Seoul Korea. I was amazed cause i have never been there. We got out and headed on. 

I honestly had so much fun we got my make up done, and i looked like a whole different person. They contoured me face and did smokey eye shadow then a wing on both side. They put on matte Pink lipstick on me and did my eyebrows. I looked so pretty. I went with Tao and they cute my hair. they trimmed two inches off my long hair then gave me cute bangs that covered my forehead but they were see through bangs and then straightened my hair. I Looked at myself and was truly amazed. I hugged Tao so tightly. He laughed and hugged me back. "I love it. Thank you so much! I don't know how i can every thank you enough!" I laughed. "You can thank me by not crying over him again and do as i said we should do." He said patting my head. I nodded. I honestly felt so much better about myself. After all of that we went to store and he bought me nice clothes that were girly and then he got me clothes that were just basic blue skinny jeans and sweat shirts then vans and heels,Adidas,Jordan,you name it i got it. 

He bought me make up and after that we left. We got to my house,i felt sad again. "If you need me just call and i will be there in a heart bat i promise. Just remember though, Smile all the time laugh. ignore him and always dress cute and put on make up if it makes you feel prettier than you think you are." He said. I nodded and smiled at him. I hugged him one last time and grabbed all my stuff and went inside. 

Everyone stared at me in disbelief. "Were have you been? We were really worried." Kyungsoo came to me. I smiled and giggled. "I was with Tao we went shopping and now i am back." I explained happily. "With Tao?" i nodded. "You stayed at his house last night too?" I nodded and smiled. "Nothing happened. He was just there for me when i needed someone." I said. "We were trying to be but you shut us out." I shook my head.

"Guys you are his friend, best friends, i am not going to talk bad about him with you guys. Thats not fair to him or you guys." I said. His tsked and walked away. I shrugged it off and took all my bags to my room were sehun was. I Huffed and walked to my closet. He got up and cleared his throat. "What do you want?" I asked annoyed. "Look i wanted to talk to you?" i interrupted. "okay hurry up." He sighed. "Do you know what i am going to say or do you want me to say it ?" He asked rudely. "I got two things in my head so  hurry and tell me which one. I was still putting up my clothes. "I am breaking up with you." Tears threatened it come up so i swallowed them and was making my way to my door. He grabbed my fore arm and i yanked it back. "Don't fucking touch me!" I gave him a death glare. I walked out an all the boys were in the living room watching TV and laughing with each other. They looked at me confused and i rolled my eyes still holding in my tear. I went to the back yard and hid were the side of the house was. I heard the slide door open and then close. If sehun followed me i am going to fight him. Jongins' head popped behind the corner and he looked at me. "He broke up with you?" I nodded and couldn't hold it in anymore. 

I cried and tried to hold in the noises i was making but it felt like i couldn't i screamed and Jongin held me. I screamed more and cried even harder. My throat was getting sore from all the crying and my eyes were burning front he tears that were running down my face like acid. I head sniffling and looked up to see kai looking up and holding in his tears. His eyes were watery but nothing came out. I Hugged him back finally. "I'm so sorry kai." i said but he didn't say anything he just hugged me more. 

A/N: Okay so i was crying writing this because the break up part was...well this is how my recent ex broke up with me and how sehun acted when he texted he wouldn't see her. Pretty much what happened with me. I really did react like this from when they got to the room to when kai was holding her. SO yeah this was an emotional part for me.