Living without you is harder than you think

Part 19

"Thanks for staying with me and helping with the pain." Jongin shook his had and smiled at me. "Well if I didn't you probably would have kept yelling at all of us and nothing would have been figured out." He said trying to joke. I made a small laugh, but we both know it wasn't real. I sighed finishing packing my bags. "Are you sure you are going to leave back to your city?" I nodded and sat down next to Jongin. "My flight is in two weeks. I need to make sure everything is shipped off before I leave." He sighed and nodded looking down. "Are you okay?" I asked him. He nodded then got up walking to my door. I grabbed his arm. "It doesn't look like it Kai." He looked at me. 

"I don't want you to leave, it will make me hurt and you know you will miss us. You will go back to being the girl with no friend or family and it will make you die of sadness. I don't want you to be sad. All you did was work go to the gym and be alone." He said. I nodded and looked down. "Well that's when I was smart and stayed away from people because I knew if I got close I would be where I am now." Jongin sighed and then hugged me. I stood there wide eyed. "Please, I am begging you. Don't leave. What about Baekhyun,Chanyeol,Suho,xuimin,chen,lay,and kyungsoo. they will be even more hurt. Happy virus won't be happy anymore." He said looking down at me. "Happy virus will be fine and keep you guys smiling." Chanyeol was always working hard at making everyone as happy as they could be at the hardest times there was. I sighed and scratched the back of my head. "Don't tell anyone. I want to tell them two days before. So that way they don't have time to try and change my mind. I don't need that right now. They need to understand." I said. He nodded and walked out the room. I laid down outing my arm over my eyes. I hate being alone. Everything just doesn't feel balanced anymore. I felt the tears slip from my eyes and my throat starting to get sore because I was holding in my cries. I heard the door click open. I shot up wiping my eyes as fast as possible. "Kai please leave. I need to be alo-"  

"My name is not kai." Sehun said walking to the bed. "What are you doing?" I asked getting up. "Going to bed. Good night." He said laying down. "Why cant you sleep at your hoes' house tonight?" i said grabbing my pillow from under his head letting his head hit the head board. I heard it hit. I yanked the blanket of him and threw them on the floor. He watched me make a bed on the floor to sleep on. "You are ridiculous." He breathed out. I looked at him and walked up to him. "I am ridiculous? Me? Not you? You cheated on me and then dumped me and now you think you can sleep in the same room as me let alone same bed with me?" I yelled getting in his face. "You are so loud. Quite down." He said coolly putting his legs on the bed. I grabbed his leg and put it back were it was. "No you wanted to start this so finish it!" i screamed in his face. "You wanted to take all of me and then step on me! Then tell me why you broke up with me! why you cheated on me? Are you happy you broke me even more! As if me not having friends and no parents wasn't bad enough you had to steal the last thing i had and used it against me!" I screamed through the tears. He looked down then stood up. Chanyeol and kai barged into the room. "Am i just something that was so easy to throw away to you?" I screamed again. "I thought that we would break up but I never thought it would be on terms as of these. You cheated!" I screamed falling to my knees. Chanyeol rushed to my side helping me up. "Get off me!" I screamed again. "Come on lets get out of here." he said genitally. I screamed and looked at sehun who was still not looking at me. "You are just a bitch!" I yelled loudly. He turned to me surprised. I never cursed at them. Especially him. He stomped over to me grabbing my arm. "Don't ever call me that!" He gritted his teeth. Kai grabbed his arm and tried prying him off me. "Ah so that's what I had to do to get your attention. I also had to have sex with you for you to realize you were just going to use me right?" I said laughing. He had anger written all over his face. He threw me down but I landed on Chanyeol who hurried and rushed me out. "You better pray to god I don t get drunk! It would be a shame if your secret went out!" I screamed at him making his eyes go wide. 

That's exactly what I did. I grabbed the shot glasses and grabbed the tequila. I needed to get so drunk that i wont remember the night. I texted Tao

Me: Be ready to pick me up in about an hour or two.

Tao: Why?

Me: Just do it.

Tao: Fine

I took shot after shot. I cried hoping the pain would numb up enough for me to at least pass out before i could even tell on him and his other side. I through the shot glass at the cabinet and drank from the bottle. Chanyeol tried to pull it away but i smacked his hand away. Kyungsoo walked in and saw me. "Why are you letting her drink all of this?" He questioned chanyeol. I stood up and smiled wobbling over. "Why are you so loud kyunggie?" I said wobbled over to him wrapping my arms around his neck. "You smell of alcohol. Lets get you in the shower." He said pushing me away by the waist. I giggled. "Kyungsoo have i ever told you how attractive you are. You look so good with your red hair." I said running my fingers through his hair. He shook his head. "Leslie you need to stop. I know it hurts and i know you're dunk but try to keep your self control. Sehun walked in and i took another deep burning swallow of the tequila. "Sehun you should tell them about your disorder." I giggled

"Did you guys know he has a spli-" Sehun had his hand over my mouth. I giggled and lost balance falling over on my own. "Shut up Leslie!" He hissed. He took his hand off my mouth. "Oh what its okay for you to cheat on me and dump me after i gave myself to you but i cant hurt you, embarrass you,ruin you?" I said getting up and tripping again. "Split personality disorder! That's what he had and that's why he took my virginity! I didn't want to at first but then he lied saying it was him!" I yelled fast. Everyone looked at him. "In high school he had sex with a girl and got her pregnant and denied ever seeing her." I screamed again. "Sehun is this true?" Baekhyun asked. "No hyung she is lying look at her she is drunk!" He said in a shaky voice. "Well you told me not to work when you asked me to move here with you but guess what buddy?" I said looking at him wobbling over to him. "I got a job! I knew you were going to hurt me!" I pulled him down to my face. "WANNA KNOW WHAT ELSE HE DID?! ONLY KAI AND CHANNIE OPPA KNOW!" I said not breaking eye contact with him. "HE F-ED SOME GIRL LAST NIGHT AND BROKE UP WITH ME TODAY! NOW I HAVE DECIDED TO MOVE BACK TO AMERICA!" I screamed then pushing him out of my face. "I a now officially single." I screamed and smiled. The door bell rung. "Ohh look there is my Tao Tao coming to save me from the cheater" I looked at sehun then managed to walk to the door. "Tao oppa! I missed you." I said hugging him. Tears came out of my eyes. "I was waiting for you! You took to long! You didn't come to save me fast enough." I cried into his shirt. He held me tightly while everyone watched.