Divorced (LGBTQ Story)

Divorced ch.32

How can you make an six year old kid that won't celebrate Christmas with his mother happy?...

It wasn't the type of question Siri could easily answer nor a person who specializes in children behavior. I was stuck when it comes to bringing Mike a good Christmas; at least try to. However, it became harder and harder when we gotten closer to the supposed-to-be jolly day.

I didn't know what the hell I was doing from the beginning when Lila passed away; how in the hell would I know what to do as time goes by?... Mike won't have a mother and even if I try to be the best I can be, I can not be a mother that he needs and wants. I don't have that specific bond with Mike like Lila did.

That was the only thought on my mind as Mike and I walked in the large grave yard, in searching of Lila's tombstone.

The winter air did not show mercy for us early risers. It was slightly below thirty-two, the freezing point; I was shivering from the inside out and wanted to go back home to snuggle under the warm blankets. Although I wanted to go home, I couldn't; Mike wanted to see Lila's tombstone as soon as possible and he needed me there by his side.

Unfortunately Aaron did not tag along and suffered with me, only because Mike did not have the courage to ask him; afraid that he would say no. I didn't complain about his sudden change of plans, I actually thought it was for the best considering that I don't know the history between the two. They could of hated each other so much, if Aaron seen Lila's grave he would probably piss all over it. Maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit, but you never know what people are capable of.

There it was, Lila's tombstone. It was fresh, compared to the other tombstones around hers and already had a set of roses on them as if someone visited just a few days ago. It was probably Regina or even Bella if she already ordered them to be delivered here.

Mike stepped to Lila's tombstone while ripping the tears that escaped his emerald eyes. He set the wild flowers I brought last night in front of her tombstone before turning to me, to probably see if I was going to say anything.

Little did he know, I had nothing to say. It was like the cold weather was freezing my brain and throat. Unfortunately the weather did not freeze my tear ducts. Tears slide down my cheeks, leaving an icy trail as it slowly freezes over. I tried my best to stop crying or to at least hold the rest in; I didn't want to appear weak in front of Mike.

Even though I did not want to appear weak in front of Mike, he still became the strong one when he wrapped his tiny arms around my thick waist. I did my annual quiet sobbing, that caused my face to twist into an ugly form.

During the little period of time Lila and I spent together, she's been there more than I could say my own sister or even another female family member-except my grandmother- has ever been. She showed me different views of the world and pushed me to the direction where I could live my life freely. Now she's gone forever before I could grant her the extra support like any other friend would give or even love.

Eventually I stopped crying by wiping my tears away and picking Mike up into my arms so I can give him an actual hug. "I love you Skyler," Mike whispered while wrapping his arms around my neck.

I had to bit down on my tongue so I won't burst out in tears. "I love you too Mike," In which I actually do, I love Mike as if he's my own and will continue to love him no matter what.

➰

Later that evening we lounged on the couch while watching Christmas movies. Both of us did not have the energy to do anything, and since I did all my shopping and wrapped up all the gifts from Santa; I was going to chillax for the remainder of the day.