Tales of the Teenage Avengers And Agents Of SHIELD

Understanding

Alternatively called "Keeping Watch"

After the events of Loki's "betrayal" and Clint Barton's mind control at Loki's expense, Natasha did her best to try and understand what he felt like at the time, but she couldn't understand the whole thing and she didn't have a clue how deep the roots of it went.

Clint didn't blame Loki, the sixteen year old god was being controlled just the same as Clint was, but when he looked at Loki and knew, he understood that whatever happened next was not going to be easy for either of them.

Loki was perfectly fine now, he was mostly mind wiped afterwards, so he knew what he had been doing before being taken by the scepter, but he didn't remember what he'd done after the wave of blue had overtaken him and the buzzing in his head was all he heard.

Clint knew that Nat couldn't possibly understand the full depths of what he felt, and that was okay, he didn't blame her, he wasn't sure he understood them himself, but the archer just couldn't take anymore nights of waking up screaming and her promising him it was going to be alright.

Clint didn't hold that against her either. He knew that was what she thought he needed and he couldn't tell her otherwise because he wasn't quite sure what he needed in the first place. So he'd asked her a few weeks later if he could sleep by himself (they shared everything with each other and he wasn't keeping secrets now. That'd be stupid.).

She'd responded with a positive because she knew that she wasn't enough for him right then. And she understood. She knew that sometimes she wouldn't be able to comfort him and he wouldn't be able to comfort her. So she wouldn't hold it against him.

The first night, Clint ended up in the rafters above his bed. He couldn't sleep. He couldn't. It was all a ruse and he'd wake up back under the septer's control and he didn't want that. He'd rather stay in this dream world forever than be back where he was.

The second night, he managed to stay on the ground, but he didn't sleep. Again, he didn't want to wake up and still be under the septer's control. He couldn't sleep. He just couldn't.

The third night, he finally managed to get some sleep. Before waking with a panic attack clawing at his skin and a frantic nervous energy forcing him to move. So he headed down to the gym close to the Asgardian guest rooms on the top floor with the strange markings that had appeared on the floor after Sif and the Warriors Three made their first visit to Avengers Tower.

He set up a punching bag, not trusting himself with arrows, bola, or anything that involved his Accuracy Enhancement being used in any way, shape, or form.

Clint proceeded to beat the living daylights out of that punching bag, making abrasions in the fine leather with the force behind his hits.

"Hawkeye. You should be sleeping." came a new voice behind him and if he hadn't been sleep deprived and running off fear and panic, he probably would've registered that the voice was a) worried about him and b) belonged to a friendly.

When he turned with a round house kick, his attack was stopped and he was suddenly on the floor with his shoulders pressed to the floor and wrists locked above his head while Thor straddled his waist.

"There's a joke here about how Nat wouldn't like this, but I don't think you'll understand." He said blankly, trying to throw the blonde man off with humor.

"You aren't well, Hawkeye. You should go to sleep." Thor tells him and Clint swore he wanted to start crying.

"No. Please, no. Don't make me sleep. I don't want to go back. Please, no." He mutters under his breath. He doesn't think that Thor heard, but Thor is an Asgardian and Asgardians have hearing far superior to the average human's.