Diving Deep (UK Crush #2)

Chapter 35

I lowered myself into the warm tub with a luxurious sigh. The bubbles enveloped me and crackled in the most satisfying way. Teddy had gotten an emergency phone call from his business manager about something, so he'd told me to just get in without him. He'd poured himself a shot as he'd taken the call, and I'd seen him toss off a couple more as he talked. I quickly washed my hair and rinsed it with clean water from the tap, tying it high on my head to keep it out of the bubbles. I poured myself a glass of wine and settled down to relax and wait. I added more hot water and turned on the jets to the lowest setting. This was heavenly, even without him to keep me company. I poured myself another glass of wine and took a deep breath, closing my eyes. I didn't fall asleep, exactly, but I did lose track of time.

"Well, don't you look adorable," he said from the doorway with a smile.

I smiled back, hugging my knees.

He quickly undressed and joined me in the tub.

He poured himself another shot from an already nearly half empty bottle and we toasted. He sat, facing me, long legs tickling my hip on my right side, smiling as he did it.

"So tell me, Teddy, how many times have you done this? Taken a bubble bath with someone?" I asked, taking another drink of my wine.

His smile vanished. "No. I don't want to do that. I won't. I'm not going to talk about my sordid past with you. I don't want to think about them, I only want to think about you, okay?"

I nodded, blinking rapidly. "I'm sorry. I thought we could talk about anything. I didn't mean to make you feel bad, I really didn't. I was just curious, after what you said earlier..." I took another drink to give myself something to do.

He looked at me and drained his glass. "Fuck," he said, pouring himself another shot and drinking it down in one swallow. He placed his glass on the side of the tub and motioned me over to him.

I put my glass down and moved over to his side. He enfolded me in his arms and pulled me to him, so I was lying along the length of him, my feet ending somewhere around his calves. He had one arm across my back, one strong hand on my neck, long fingers in my hair.

"I'm so sorry, my darling," he murmured. "Dammit, how do I do that, every fucking time?" He stroked my body pensively as he spoke. "I fuck things up, and somehow you end up apologizing for it?" He made an angry sound, so frightening it made me jump within his arms.

"Matthew was right, I'm such a self-absorbed prick." I couldn't stand hearing him when he was like this, it killed me to hear the self-hatred in his voice.

This time he didn't even bother with the glass, he just drank straight from the bottle. "I swear, sometimes I think I'd be doing you the biggest favor in the world if I just cut you loose right now, Birdie," he said. "I mean, all I have to offer you is money, and you've made it abundantly clear that money doesn't matter to you.

"Everything else about me and my life is just utter shit, isn't it?" He asked rhetorically.

I sat up, sloshing water everywhere. I reached over and turned off the jets. I had no idea what to say.

"Maybe it's just selfish of me to want to keep you," he said in a defeated voice. "I'm so used to getting what I want that when I saw you and I realized that I wanted you, I just reached for you, with no regard as to how it would affect anyone. Like a small child with candy. That's just what I do, isn't it? No thought, ever, for anyone but myself.

"Who cares if you have to move to another continent for six months? It's in your best interests ultimately. You have your possessions in storage? Let's just take them the fuck out, break all ties with the only place you've ever called home, with the place your only blood relative is buried, move your ass across a fucking ocean, where I'll be the only person you know, so you'll be completely dependent on me, for everything.

"You could have been with Matthew, who doesn't have a disgusting past, filled with women and drugs and drink on every continent in the world. He has a family with education, with class. He knows how to talk to you, how to treat you, he would never, ever, make a ham fisted pass at you, get drunk and spill your most private secrets to your closest friends then knock you to the floor, practically breaking your jaw, and leave you bleeding in a bathroom for hours. He's the one you should be with." He gave me a steady, gray eyed stare as I sat in the water, and for some reason, I felt like I should cover myself up. He was drunk, too, which didn't help anything.

"Or maybe we should consider Geth," he said conversationally, taking another swig. "Good looking fellow, isn't he?" He looked over at me. "Very attractive, strong, silent type, you know? He'd never pull the shit I've pulled. And he'd have you in a New York minute, as they say.

"He hides his feelings well, but not well enough for me not to notice."

What was he talking about? Geth had no feelings for me.

"I ruin everything I touch," he said succinctly. "You shouldn't be with me. Everyone who sees us together knows it, but no one wants to say it to our faces, that's all. It doesn't matter how much money I spend on you, how much I promise you; we're doomed to failure, I saw to that, before we ever fucking met. Cheers." He held up the bottle.

I finally found my voice. "You just said, not even a day ago, that you'd never leave me...you promised..." I realized how idiotic, how juvenile I sounded, and I stopped.

He shrugged. "As usual, I didn't know what the fuck I was talking about."

"Are you breaking up with me? Are you?" I couldn't keep the disbelief, the pain, the naked hurt out of my voice. "Because I asked you a question about how many bubble baths you've taken in the past?"

When he didn't deny it I started to feel sick. He just continued to stare at me. Oh my god. I could feel the tears coming. I had to get out of here. Out of the tub, out of this room. Now. I was naked in front of this man, in every meaning of the word.

He looked at me the way you look at old furniture. "Go, Foster," he said in a dead voice. "Go find yourself a real man, okay? Get the fuck out of here."

I stood, splashing water all over the place. I grabbed a towel and ran. I could hear him behind me, calling my name, shouting for me to stop. I opened the door to the hallway, wrapped in nothing but the towel, freezing, not knowing where to go. No one was home. Maybe Geth?

I ran toward the master bedroom. I could hear Teddy behind me, and I ran faster. I got to the door and turned the knob, but it was locked. I pounded on the door, shouting Gethin's name.

"Please, Geth! Let me in, please." I was, of course, bawling. And I could hear Teddy coming.

The door opened and Gethin was standing there, shirtless, in sweatpants.

I stepped into his arms. "Please let me in, please shut the door, don't let him in, please, please," I sobbed.

Without another word he shut the door in Teddy's face and locked it. Teddy pounded on the door.