Diving Deep (UK Crush #2)

Chapter 49

Richard leaned over to show me the phrasing again.

    "You're being too aggressive here," he reached across, "and here." He leaned back. "Can't you hear the difference between what you're doing and what I'm doing?"

    I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration. "Of course I can, but that's what the dynamics say, for Christ's sake!" I pointed.

    He sighed. "Maybe we've done enough for today, hmm?

    "Close up your books, Ms. Foster. I wanted to talk to you, anyway." He sat in one of the chairs opposite his desk and gestured to the other one. I sat in it and looked at him.

    "Usually in November I take a group of my more advanced students to a chateau I own in France for a little retreat. Chateau is a rather grandiose word for it; it's really just a large house on some acreage with some grapes. We go for about a week or ten days, depending on the weather. It's fun, we play music, drink wine, talk piano, things like that. I was thinking you might like to join us?" His blue eyes looked at me questioningly.

    "It's usually a very small group, no more than seven or eight students. You'd probably be the youngest, but you'd probably be among the most advanced, as well. I think you'd enjoy it," he said encouragingly. "How long has it been since you've been around other musically inclined people? I mean, classical music?"

    "I don't usually differentiate between different kinds of music," I explained. "And you know I live with a musician. I mean, we talk about music all the time. Just because it's not always classical music doesn't make it less relevant to me. That's one of the things I love about being with him; people who are his fans now know who I am and know what I do, and it's exposing my kind of music to a whole different kind of person, who might never have known how beautiful it is."

    He patted my knee. "Well, think about it. It really is a lot of fun. What's today, October 27th? We'll be leaving on November 28th, so that's well over four weeks away, plenty of time to decide.

    "Talk it over with, Theo, is it? See if he can do without you for that long," he said with a smile.

    "Oh. I thought he could come with me," I said, trying to cover my disappointment.

    "No, afraid not." This with another smile. "It's only for my students. And I don't think he'd really be comfortable, anyway, do you? These are all doctoral candidates in the music program, he probably wouldn't have much in common with them, perhaps not a lot to talk about?"

    "I'm a doctoral candidate, or a potential doctoral candidate, and he and I have plenty to talk about," I said, bristling a little at his implication.

    "Yes, Tinker Bell, I'm sure you do," he said, touching my knee again. I resisted the urge to move my leg. "I just meant people who have spent years in an academic atmosphere can sometimes be, shall we say, intimidating to people who haven't, that's all. I didn't mean to impugn Theo's intellect in any way, I assure you."

    I sighed. "I know, Richard. I'm just tired." I sighed again.

    He patted my knee again, reassuringly, before removing his hand.

    "Okay, enough chatter for today. Same time next week?" He put a comforting arm around me as we stood, and I leaned into him for a moment as we walked out.

    "You sure you're okay?" He looked at me closely, giving me a little shake. "Feeling a little homesick or something?" Blue eyes looked into mine with concern.

    "No, honest, I'm fine," I said, smiling.

    "That's better," he said with a grin. "Bad feelings come through in your music, so we need to make sure all that kind of thing's well sorted as soon as possible, hmm?"

    As I was leaving his office I ran into Mia, his assistant, who had become a sort of friend over the past few weeks. She was a bubbly and cheerful redhead who was always fun to be around, and we walked out together.

    "You know, I think he likes you," she said as we walked down the stairs. "In that way, if you know what I mean."

    "Oh, Mia, don't be ridiculous," I nudged her shoulder with mine. "He does not. He's my advisor, and he knows I'm with Teddy, anyway."

    "Who cares that he's your advisor? He's dreamy. And it's not against the rules, not with doctoral candidates. Besides, you're not even an official student here, so there." She nodded for emphasis.

    "And you can't take some thingy that's only been going on for a few months with some pop star seriously, can you?" She turned to me. "This could be the real thing, Tink! Every woman on this campus has been chasing him since he got here four years ago, and no one's caught him yet!"

    We'd reached the bottom of the stairs and we stood there, finishing our conversation. She put her hand on my arm.

    "I'm serious, Tink. He. Likes. You." She bobbed her curly head up and down again for emphasis.

    Mia. I'm in love with someone else. It doesn't matter that it's only been a few months. For me, this is all there is. We're talking getting married someday. We're talking children." I tried to explain it to her.

    She lifted my left hand.

    "I don't see a ring anywhere. That means it's anyone's game, that's all I'm saying." She leaned in to whisper to me. "Just give Richard a chance. That's all I'm saying.

    "I'm off! See you next week. Bye!" And she scurried off toward the back of the building.

    As I was exiting the massive doors, my phone buzzed with a text.

    'Had an emergency, had to dash to manager's to sign some papers. Car is waiting for you. Sorry, love, see you at home. Teddy. xx'

    I sighed and pushed open the doors, looking for the black SUV that was the standard issue of most car services. It was purring at the curb, and the driver waved to me. I waved back and walked toward it.

    I tried not to dwell on what kind of emergency would call him away in the middle of a weekday afternoon. He had to be lying. I leaned my forehead on the cool glass of the window and watched the London Eye glide slowly by. I closed my eyes and tried not to think, about anything, for the rest of the ride home.

    I didn't know what to do about dinner. Was he coming home? Should I cook at all? I finally texted him around 4:30, asking him what I should do. Predictably, he said that everything was running long, and that I should just eat without him. I tossed the phone on the sofa and buried my face in my knitting, willing myself not to cry.

    Maybe I could talk to Janelle? But she was Geth's sister, and Geth and all of the boys belonged to Teddy. They were his to talk to, I didn't want to take them from him. So that made my list of people I could talk to very short. Zero, in fact. I certainly couldn't talk to Mia. She had never heard of UK Crush or Theo Shelley, she would tell me to drop him like a hot rock and set my sights on what to her was a much more valuable prize, namely Dr. Richard Allen, PhD. And Janelle would definitely tell Geth, who would insist on talking to the rest of the boys, and talking to Teddy, who obviously didn't want to talk about whatever was going on. And I didn't want to force him.

    I thought about talking to Ben. We still FaceTimed frequently, and texted all the time, but they were deep in the middle of trying to adopt a baby from Africa, and I didn't want to dump more trouble on him, especially about something so trivial. I mean, it wasn't trivial to me, but adopting a baby definitely trumped boyfriend problems. I wouldn't do it to him.

    Could Teddy have stopped caring about me? If so, why couldn't he just tell me? Could he be worried about my audition? But he couldn't possibly believe that messing with my mind like this was conducive to having a good audition, could he? And how could all of the 'forever and forever' and 'I love you' and 'I adore you' turn into this practically overnight?