Highland Supplanter (Book 2)

Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Fyfa found herself in the same room she had prepared for the ceremony in. It seemed like hours ago, days in fact. But now she stood in the same position as earlier and looked over at her husband.

Husband.

It was a peculiar thought.

Husband.

She tried to roll it around her mind. Feel the truth of it. Yet it did not feel as if it was a reality yet.

With the shutters open she made her way over to look out over the snow covered land surrounding the Keep. White topped mountains, and forests sprinkled with a dusting of snow. It was a beautiful scene, but she knew just how deadly that beauty could be.

Wrapping her arms around her body, trying to keep out the chill that was invading her very bones, she tried to think logically. And yet emotions kept coming around and finding cracks in her armour. Inadequacy at the role she must now play, a knowledge of how unimportant she actually was in the world. She could not quite grasp the concept that people were caring enough to help her.

She had spent years thinking she was nothing. How only a few people saw her, and what they saw was not worthy. But she was here, today, with people congratulating her on her handfasting. Did they mean it? Were they really laughing at her? Was this all one huge joke to everyone out there and she was the day’s entertainment? If that was the case…then what was Hamish doing in this act? She had seen what he meant to the clan. Could not see them doing such a thing to him. But it did not make sense any other way. She could not understand.

Hamish had never seen someone look so lost before. Alone in a crowd, and yet even more alone within herself. Yet he did not have any idea what to do. He preferred the edge to the centre when it came to attention. He could understand, but he could not help. He hesitated for a long time. Completely unsure of himself, whereas he usually decided on a course and followed it through to the end.

He admitted quite freely to himself, he was more at ease on the field of battle than in a room on his own…with his bride.

Bride.

That was a very peculiar thought.

He had once looked forward to it. Having someone he loved to spend the rest of his days with. At least Fyfa agreed with him that their relationship worked because they could help each other. Give each other company, and help each other survive. It was all anyone could do.

Love was rare. And it was gone in a heartbeat. True, undying love was almost non-existent. His parents had had it, and he saw it with Cam and Aislinn. But all he saw with others, and with his own experience, was that love turned to bitterness, and in some case a deep seated hatred. In other cases there was little contact between husband and wife apart from their designated roles.

Bride.

Wife.

He had no idea how to be a husband. The only real example he had was his father, while he was a good example, he was away a lot of his childhood. With the clan at war in those days, it was expected. He had looked up to him. It was not a constant presence, but he could try to take on his father’s example while being their constantly. Or as much as possible. Depending on Cam keeping the peace with the surrounding clans.

He may not be able to give her the emotion most women want. Not that she was expecting that from him. But he could be the man to make his parents proud. Looking at the small figure, standing so proud and alone bathed in winter light. There was a strength in her that he was sure she did not see. And he could not stop himself from moving towards her and wrapping his arms around her, he was not sure why he did it. But when he felt how tense she was, he found he could not let go.

As the room dimmed as the clouds converged in a snow storm. Swirls of white taking over all that they could see.

He knew they needed to go back soon. The revelry would begin, and unless they were seen comments would be made. Or rather, worse comments than he knew would already be made. He knew how she needed to be in the background. And wanted her to be as comfortable as possible today of all days. If he was to spend the rest of his life with her, he wanted to start it off well.

He could not save her from everything. But he could try and limit her exposure as much as possible. For today at least. That was all he could do.

Pulling back, he brought her arms from around her at the same time. Keeping a hold of one of her small, cold hands as she turned to face him. Looking up at him, and he realised just how small she truly was, compared to his height. Not wishing to rush her, or startle her, wanting to take this at her pace. He quietly spoke to her, her large eyes shining back at him. “Are you ready to join the feast? Or would you like a few moments before we head down?”

He watched, and could see as she tried to work herself into a state where she was ready to leave, and be among people again.

As Fyfa looked up at the man she had agreed to join with. She realised that all the time she had worried and fretted. Thought she was nothing. He had been there. Steadfast, strong and when she had not realised, he had somehow managed to become an integral part of her survival. Whether he did this because he felt sorry for her situation, or not. It no longer mattered. He was there when others had taken her example and forgotten she existed. He had fought her, tooth and nail. Not allowing her to give in, not allowing her to forget her existence.

She had believed she was nothing. Less than nothing for too long. Too long to fully forget it, and to fully believe the slight revelation she had just had. But enough to possibly give her a glimmer of light for a future. If she had to spend her life with someone, share her days. There may be no real or imaginary love between them, but she respected Hamish. And he had done his best for her, even when she had been difficult. And she of all people should know how stubborn she was, what a disappointment she could be.

Taking a deep breath, she stared directly into Hamish’s eyes. As he looked earnestly back at her. She nodded slowly. Knowing that if he could give up his solitude for her, she could take some attention. If it is only for a short amount of time. Most weddings she had seen based at the Keep had been full of libations. And she knew when that happened she could fade into the background. “Shall we re-join our handfasting celebration?” She tried a timid smile.

This was it. They were together. And they were going to make this work.