Highland Supplanter (Book 2)

Chapter 29

Chapter 29

The moonlight had started to peak through the heavy cloud cover. The rain having stopped only a short time ago. The room was bathed in a sliver glow, and while weary, Hamish could not find the sleep that teased him constantly. He heaved himself upright, and against the wooden carved board at the head of the bed. Tensing as Fyfa turned and moaned in her sleep. Not wanting to wake her with his lack of ability to sleep. He barely breathed for a moment. Until her breathing evened out and she snuggled back into the covers, her lashes creating dark half-moons on her cheekbones, as the rest of her face was aglow from the silver moonlight.

He could not help but stare. The knowledge of what she may hold safe within her had never left his mind. Not since the moment she had told him of the possibility. She had worried that his reaction meant that he did not want her and the child in his life. The truth was that she could not have been any further from the truth. She could not know how the emotions had been set free of the cage he had kept them within so tightly. The jealousy he had felt over Cam and Aislinn, the jealousy he had tried so hard to forget about, had transformed into a glowing pride that he wanted to shout from the walls of the Keep. She may not know if she wanted to stay with him when the priest arrived. But he had already decided, she was his, and now with a child, he was never letting her go.

She could put up that stubborn wall of her all she wants. His will was stronger, and he would knock it down if he had too. Even if it was not confirmed, that it could all still be a future dream. He wanted it. He wished with everything in his being that it was true. To be so blessed so soon. Surely this was a sign from God himself. Taking a deep breath, he took a moment to gaze into the glowing embers within the hearth. He had seen his life like this once. Happy. Full of life and joy. Getting a chance to experience what Cam was now.

He was, quite bizarrely, looking forward to the sleepless nights and the slightly dazed expression that would haunt him for months as he tried to adjust to the new routine. He had seen Cam go through the same, and had hoped for just a moment of that feeling. Had never thought he would ever come close to grasping it. That moment so long ago had shattered his hope into tiny pieces, and yet now. Now it was so hard to stop the first sprouts from peeking up from the ashes of his lost emotions.

At the small moan beside him, his attention snapped back to Fyfa. He had noticed over the last few months, that she made little sounds in her sleep. Never fully talking, but mumbling, moaning or sighing throughout the night. And while if someone had told him he would have had to spend night after night with such a person, he would have denied them completely. Now. He was beginning to think he may not be able to sleep without the little constant murmurs throughout the night. He had to hold back a snort of humour at the thought. No one could have predicted this.

Well, maybe Aislinn could have. But she probably would not have ever told him, knowing he would not have believed it. He was not convinced in the powers and story that Cam and Aislinn had so readily believed. And he knew that Fyfa was wary of her grandmother’s story too. Maybe they were well suited for each other and they had just never seen it before now. If they could create life so quickly, surely fate had brought them together, and was trying to show them how right that choice was.

Was he over thinking this? Was he trying to convince himself of something that was not there? Was all he going to receive, a gift of disappointment and grief? He could not take such again. And this time, he knew it would be worse. Last time he could admit it was infatuation and not true feelings. Now. Now there was a woman who needed him and who he was beginning to see he needed as well. Maybe more. While she needed him to create a safe space for her, allowing her to be who she always should have been allowed to be.

He was beginning to realise that he needed her to find himself again. Finally seeing what he had done to himself, and how withdrawn he had become. She also allowed him to let free his protective instincts free. And he needed to feel as if he was the warrior and protector even in his own home. It was what made him feel comfortable within his own skin. Even as a young child he had tried to protect his friends, his family…and anyone in the clan he thought he would allow him the privilege to let him defend them. It was part of his nature, and he knew that he would never have been able to do so if he had married before…well, before Corey showed him the error of his ways there.

Heaving another sigh, he lowered himself down so he was once more lying flat on his back. Within moments, Fyfa had wrapped herself around him, mumbling away the entire time. Snuggling her head into his chest, before finally satisfied with her position and breathing steadily once more, her arms clinging tightly too him, a leg thrown over his. And he could not hold back the smile that over took his face at that moment. It was these moments he needed. To know he was needed as more than the guard and second to Cam. Not one of the best warriors within the clan. No, here he was Hamish. And he was needed to make Fyfa feel safe, even when she was not even aware that she sought it.

With one arm snaking its way beneath her body, and curving back over her hip, he pulled her tighter to his side. With a smile still upon his face, he closed his eyes and allowed sleep to claim him.

Fyfa awoke suddenly, just as the first peek of weak sunlight began to creep over the horizon. And she knew instantaneously that she needed to move. And move quickly. But having found her limbs tangled with Hamish’s, and held tightly against his side. She could not move as quickly as needed. And neither could she move without waking Hamish from his deep slumber. As he jolted awake. She managed to break free, and lean over the side of the bed, before what little was left in her stomach from the evening meal, was emptied all over the floor. As her heaving turned dry, and nothing more could come out, she collapsed back, with a loud groan.

All the while she had not realised how close Hamish actually was. And she was taken aback as she sheepishly looked over at him to find his face beaming back at her. Brighter than the light from the sun at that moment. Was he really happy she had just emptied her stomach on the floor in their sleeping chamber? At her frown he seemed even more pleased. Without any warning she felt the tears begin to flow. Hamish tugged her too him and muttered soothing sounds as he rubbed her back. “Fyfa? Please do not cry.” He kissed the top of her head, circles massaging into her back. “Tell me what is wrong.”

As she sobbed the words came out in broken gasped pieces. “You are pleased…I am…Ill.” The tears racking her body as they came faster. His murmuring increased, and he kissed the tip of her ear. “Oh, Fyfa. I was not pleased about that, but what it means.” In moments, the tears had slowed and tiny hiccups were the only movement within her as she absorbed the words, and a quizzical look overtook her. Hamish obviously realised her lack of understanding and waited a few minutes before he let her in on what he thought he knew. “Fyfa, with what you told me off yesterday eve, you question what this could mean?” He raised and eye brow, and Fyfa’s mind froze before it manage to speed up to what Hamish had already known. Her eyes widening. And panic took over.

“You were not happy about this news, yester eve, yet you smile now?” Her breathes were coming in anxious gasps. He had been silent as he had pulled her from Nessia’s and not saying a word as they ate, and readied for sleep in the same intense silence. Without knowing what to say to him. Unknowing of how he truly felt about the situation, and too afraid to voice the question. She had even considered the view point that he would wish her gone, not wanting either of them for a longer commitment.

But now, his joy was clear to see, and her confusion was worse than ever. Her temples had started to pound slightly. And she almost missed his response. His expression turning serious all of a sudden, and pulled her into the depths of his eyes. One hand came up to cup her cheek, anchoring her in the moment, and focusing her upon him. “Fyfa, I could not be more pleased. The news yester eve was a shock. I had not expected such news so soon.” He took a deep breath, preparing himself for what he had to say next. “Just so you know. As soon as the priest arrives…we will be linked by our child and before God. Forever.”