My Everything (sequel to Secret) //EDITING//

Five

{edited}

May POV {high school}

It's the end of October.

The weather is starting to get cold and it's raining more.

All great things.

I pull my blankets up to my chest and sink in my mattress.

I assume Harry and I are broken up. We haven't talked in 3 months.

Everyday I write something in our messages then delete it.

He obviously doesn't want to talk to me because he hasn't even made an effort to text me.

All the good memories are slipping out my mind and now all I think about is the pain this long distance is brining me.

Sadie is home for the weekend. Ellie went back to California to finish her internship at some hospital.

Now, it's just me in this house. Sadie is LA in some college, Ellie lives in California and does her own thing, and my parents are home like twice a month for two days.

I'm just growing to the feeling of being alone. It's hard eating alone, having no one to talk too, no one to see in the morning, everything. Sometimes I can't fall asleep because I feel like someone is in my house and is going to kill me.

I stayed home today. It's Friday, and I didn't feel like going to school.

I hear chatter downstairs.

I swear if it's her boyfriend...

I roll out of bed and stumble downstairs. Sadie's smile fades and she looks away awkwardly. I glance to who's beside her and it's Harry.

I'm confused, really.

"You said she was at school." Harry's voice mutters to Sadie who just excuses herself.

I stare at him and he stares back. I feel like slapping him. "Why are you home?" Harry asks.

"Because I wanted to stay home." I answer obviously. "What are you doing in town?"

"Sadie and I planned this a few months back. We'll both meet up for a few hours and hangout."

"How long are you in town for?" I ask.

"Just a few hours." Harry replies and I nod.

"I'll uh, leave you guys alone then." I start to head upstairs but his voice calls behind me.

"I didn't tell you because I'm only staying for four or so hours." He says. I turn back around and look at him.

"You don't think I would've stayed home to see you?" I ask. "Even if it's just for a few hours?"

"There would be no point."

"Then why are you and Sadie meeting up for a fucking few hours if there is no point?" My voice raises.

"I don't feel like arguing." Harry dismisses.

"Then don't start shit between us."

"You did that all in your own." He spits.

"I did?" I ask, my eyes widening. "I'm so fucking sorry that I was sad that my own boyfriend forgot our anniversary. Excuse me for being mad that I'm not the slightest bit important to you anymore and that I was just hoping that you would just remember something related to me."

"You're not important to me?" Harry's eyes widen. "Are you fucking serious right now? You're pulling that card? Then why have I been busting my ass off doing school work for all these hours go build up time to be home with you? When I'm home I never leave your fucking side until I have to leave. I don't care about you at all so that's why every fucking night I fucking feel shit for not being here with you, and for letting you live alone and be by yourself all week.

I forgot one thing and now I'm the worlds worst boyfriend? When I'm home I take you out, I spend every night with you, I make love to you, I don't even visit my own family most of the time because I'm with you. Do not blame me for going to college early when you were the one who wanted me to fucking go. If you were to tell me to stay, I would've. I would still be accepted to Washington State in the fall, I would've still went.

You act like I sit around my flat all day jerking off. I wake up at seven to go class at 8 and come home around nine. I have so many classes May that I don't even have fucking time to think about anything. Then when I get home I have homework. I'm not in bed till 11, 12 sometimes. And I only have 2 days off a week. And you know what I do? I sleep all day. I don't sit on my ass and watch TV and go to class in the afternoon." Harry rants.

I don't say anything.

What should I say?

I just look to my feet and walk upstairs with tears stinging my eyes. I'm selfish, aren't I?

I'm fucking selfish. I close my door and slide against the wall beside it.

My door opens and I continue to look down at my hands.

Harry sits in front of me and rests his hands on my knee. "Stop crying."

"Th-that's all I fucking do now." I spit under my breath. "Just go back downstairs to Sadie."

"No, May. We need to talk this out."

"You haven't seen your family because of me. Because I'm a selfish cunt who complains too much and is up your ass."

"Don't call yourself that." His voice defends. "You haven't been complaining about the distance. It's my choice to spend my time with you. You're not selfish."

"I never tell you to go visit your family though when you're with me." I glare at him then look back to my hands.

"Can you look at me?" I bite my lip and slowly look up. His hands rest on my waist. "I love you, May. And this isn't easy on me and this isn't easy on you. But you're my everything and I need you. I need you so fucking much." His eyes well up. "In January my classes will hopefully settle down and I'll have classes 3 days a week and I'll be able to see you more or text you."

"I was just hurt then." I mutter.

"I understand why." I glance up at him. His hands squeeze mine. I bite my lip and press my head against his chest. He holds me tightly.

"I don't want to promise anything." Harry mutters. "But the only think I know for sure is that I love you, and no matter what, that will never stop." I grip onto him.

A://N

I honestly have no life so here's another update lol

Comment? Make sure to leave a vote :p

~lauren